He's a boy, he's your friend, but he is not your BOYFRIEND!

OK, I think I have the answer to this one, but probably not the complete answer. Here's what NG wants to know:

Dear PLS,
My best friend is a boy and everyone says we're dating. I usually ignore it but it's really getting annoying. What can I do?
Help me please!
NG

I think you can be friends - even best friends - with anyone, including boys. I'd say if you guys are happy being friends, than who cares what people say. Eventually, they'll stop if they don't think it bothers you.

But...I also think it's easy to start liking someone as more than a friend, especially if you really like this guy as a person. Who out there has a special guy friend? Can you give NG some help? What do you do if people don't buy that you're "just friends?"

Think pink!
Jemma

62 Comments:

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Anonymous Bubbles said...

just tell them:

"YES...i DO like him...in fact I LOVE him but not how you are thinking...I'm talking about like a BROTHER NOT like a boyfriend..got it?"

i hope this help that what i ALWAYS say about me and my bf( best fren), Jarrett

June 25, 2009 at 5:19 PM  
Anonymous NG said...

Thanks for the help!

June 25, 2009 at 6:25 PM  
Anonymous NG said...

I love this site!Again thanks for the help.

June 25, 2009 at 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Jenna said...

Hey NG,
Its ok if people tease you because if you do start to like your friend as more than a friend and he likes you the same way you like him then you might have found "the one" and the people that tease might not ever find the right person so hang in their.

June 26, 2009 at 1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jemma I love your book it is so good it's superb maybe you could make a whole series!
And oh I got my first bra at first I was sooo nervous but now I am used to it and I got my first bra with your tips all thanks to you Jemma!And guess what I am having my first date!I am so excited!

June 26, 2009 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Suzette said...

Hey NG,
this has happened to me too. What I did was ignore it, and if people tease you just say "If I hang out with a boy,why does it seem to you we have to be dating, you can hang out with people you are not dating?"
Truly yours,
Suzette H.

June 27, 2009 at 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Jordan said...

IGNORE THEM! If they don't stop after that, then say, "He's just my friend, like any other person. There's nothing special there."

June 30, 2009 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well obviouisly they should know. But if you guys are as close as you say then maybe it is an easy mistake. And usually when a girl and boy is bestfriends they end up dating anyway. Then they break-up and dont talk to each other. The circle of love(:

June 30, 2009 at 11:30 PM  
Anonymous Anasia said...

I have a question.Why is it when I have a male friend he turns out to be my boyfriend. Example, I had this male friend and we would hurt each other a lot, then we were boyfriend and girlfriend. That happened to me a lot.

July 1, 2009 at 2:17 AM  
Anonymous Rin said...

Ohh. Well happens to me all the time. My best friend gives me hugs and people always tease us but it's cool! I guess you and I will just have to wait till this teasers grow up and get some friends.

Oh, they're probably jealous! ;)

July 2, 2009 at 12:43 AM  
Anonymous Lundon said...

Bubbles your advice is great!Thanx

July 2, 2009 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger Anna Banana said...

yeah, ask them if they're dating their friends. somehting like 'so your dating jess, right?' and when they ask why tell them your working on their reasoning.

at least your friends with him thou, i get that about a boy i just happen to be in a floorball team with who a hate.

July 2, 2009 at 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ng yo should just ignore them say "hey what about you guys you shoudnt say anything because i bet this has happened too a whole lot of you too!"

July 2, 2009 at 12:13 PM  
Anonymous brittani,10 said...

i have that same problem!!!!!!!!!!
we tryed every thing like fake breack up, and other stuff. But i got tired of it and truthfully i did like him after he was my best friend for about 2 years. And i went out with him for a while and then every body stoped and he was so hot to!!!!!! if you do like him tell him and if you don't tell every body i dont like him and if they keep telling u that horrasing u talk to a adult

July 2, 2009 at 5:30 PM  
Anonymous Jakie said...

that happens everytime for me! everytime i get 5 meters close to a guy i hear "oooh look its those two again! i think theyre dating!" soo annoying!!!

July 3, 2009 at 1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My friend is a boy. Actually i have a bunch of friends that are boys. Sometimes i get accused of liking them but i don't mind. Guy friends change your conversation topics. they talk about different things than girls. I personally agree with Jemma.

July 4, 2009 at 8:09 PM  
Anonymous cookiebyte said...

hi! uhmm i have a boy (SPACE) friend and my other girl friends keep teasing me that we're girlfriend and boyfriend and it gets quite annoying so..HELP ME!! please?

-nikki :)

July 5, 2009 at 12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey NG,
i know how u feel. my best friend is a guy 2!!! but his other best friend likes ME!! if ur bff has a crush on u, but u dnt like him, u have every right 2 say it!!
hope this helps!!

<3--Victoia

July 5, 2009 at 11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a Q okay do u love or like the boy if so then just maybe he likes u to most relashionships star as people being freinds and mostly there the ones who last

July 5, 2009 at 6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well i think that just tell them that there getting annoying and there wrong cause you the one who knows the truth including him.All girls feels this way sometime in there life!
-M.D.

July 8, 2009 at 4:52 PM  
Anonymous anna said...

if i had the same thing i will say to them stop it i mean it i like as a friend not a boyfriend i hope tat works

July 8, 2009 at 10:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey NG,
dont worry, a heap of girlz hav this problem... including me! Im glad we r both frendz and he is 2! If u guys are frendz then so be it. Its okay to hav a guy as a frend! The teasing can get annoying but dont let it get 2 u! Others r probably just jealous that u can be frendz with guyz as they cant! Being frendz with guyz is great... no need 2 feel different. U r frendz and u should be PROUD!!!

July 9, 2009 at 4:17 AM  
Anonymous Sam said...

Yo NG,

My best friend on the whole planet has been a boy fer 5 years and we went through this exact thing. we ignored them and made it look like we hated each other and it worked they never tease us since.

August 12, 2009 at 7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear NG,
I went thro that 2 a couple years ago. Just laugh and say, "That's funny, but we're just really good friends." and if it doesn't work. then they're probably not the BEST friends in the world!

August 23, 2009 at 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my best friend is a boy me and him spend most of our days together some ppl think we r made 4 each other but i just don't think of him that way,i had a friend that was a boy b4 aswell but i made the mistake of dating him and then we broke up and we r not as close ant more infact we r hardly even friends we say the odd hi and thats about it and i sit next to him in math and its really awkword :(
just tell your friends you dont think of him that way ...
hope i helped x

August 24, 2009 at 11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i made out with my friend behind the chinese restrant then the next day behind mcdonalds and everyone thinks were goin out but were not were just friends
what happened and what should i do

i need advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 29, 2009 at 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They're probably just jealous that they're not as close to a boy as u are! Don't worry about it hun!

September 6, 2009 at 12:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had the same problem. He asked me out, because everyone said we would be perfect for each other. I said no because I wasn't ready and I knew it would ruin our friendship. He took it the wrong way and we aren't as close as friends anymore. We talk and have our laughs, but it seems all awkward now. Just ignore them, and continue your life as you like it. (I wish my best friend did the same.)

September 14, 2009 at 6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i always kiss this guy i know 2 say hello and i do it with everyone but they think cause hes a boy i like him i DONT

September 19, 2009 at 7:07 PM  
Anonymous JOLINA said...

Just ignore it and if it helps don't really bother what ppl say coz only YOU and your'e Bestfriend know what's real and what's not

October 23, 2009 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger PiZnk said...

Hey NG,
It really happens with me too. All of his friends said that we're on a date. But I just ignore it. And they stop to do it again. Try not too smile or starting a conversation with other people. It will make his friends suspicious.

October 26, 2009 at 6:19 AM  
Anonymous Miranda said...

so a few days ago i told my best guy friend that i like him....i started liking him at my bffs party...she told him over a txt message...all he said was the he dnt know what he thought of me...... and just a few hours before we were lol nd i was falling asleep on his shoulder........ now at school he avoids me nd i do the same.....idk what to do...HELP!!

October 27, 2009 at 6:47 PM  
Anonymous Raashi said...

Hey NG! I have a lot of guy friends who treat me as their sister and they are my brothers.People do tease me and my BFF who is a guy but you should make it clear to him that you both will not let gossip ruin your friendship. You could even try saying, 'would you date your brother? then why should I?!Guys are pretty sensitive to being teased with a girl so don't talk about it too much with him unless he wants to.Any way my BFF are still going strong(as friends!) and I hope you guys do to! Love, Raashi.

November 4, 2009 at 10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ng,
just ignore them if you can and just think of the facts:
YOUR just friends!!!

November 8, 2009 at 11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heyy i relate to u sooo much! my best guy friend and i are really close and we don't wanna ruin our relationship and we only like each other as friends! he's like a second older brother... all my friends say we're dating or we need to go out, but we disagree... so i just try to ignore them and tell them that we're just friends! hope this helps!!!

November 16, 2009 at 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Megha said...

hi i have a guy best friend and everyone always teases us we think it is annoying so we just reverse the pressure! Example: Cool girls(frienimies): Hey Dean (my best friend) and u are so over each other you so like each other!

Dean and I: Well would u like it someone said that to u! Infact you should be on my side instead of taesing me anyways being friends with a boy is better then being friends with a girl because: For girls it matters if your populour and your appearence but boys dont really vare so i think im very lucky to have Dean as A friend!]

Try it! It shocks every person who is teasing you! If they still dont listen just walk away and if they follow u just walk up to a teacher and they are off your back! I think of Dean as my big bro! Just be thankful that he is on your side!

November 20, 2009 at 9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the same thing happens to me and my best friend (which is a guy) When ever people ask or say that wee are dating we just ignore it and tell them that we are JUST friends and NOTHING else. If they will nott leave you alone then just ignore it, eventually something bigger to talk about will come and everyone will forget about that rumor, hope that helped!!(:

November 28, 2009 at 6:26 PM  
Anonymous Carla said...

I think you should talk with your friend about this. He would tell you something to do & it will be alright

December 9, 2009 at 4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me and a really close friend who is a guy kind of kissed many times and made out but were just friends and idk please help i wanna be more serious but hes not ready

December 10, 2009 at 6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My friends and I talk to boys all the time and people will say "Are you dating?" and we all just shrug and say no because you can be friends with whoever you want and its ok to hang out and be friends with guys! HOPE THIS HELPS!

December 16, 2009 at 3:34 PM  
Anonymous CPR said...

I know how you feel I have the same exact problem.

January 6, 2010 at 10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In third grade (yeah, i know, it was three years ago, but i still remember it and it happend all the same...) Anyways, there was this new kid in our grade, and yeah, he ended up in MY class. I spent almost all the free class time with him. What bothered me most, was EVERYONE (not kidding, either) thought we were going out with each other. People can up to me at recess and asked me it we were dating,and the truth was NO, so that's what i told everyone. all i was trying to do, was make him feel comfortable until he found other friends. That's just the kind of person i am. We aren't as close as we used to be, but we still talk to each other. Aparently, there was another rumor going around the school, but I didn't believe himwhen he told me (the only time we saw each other was a few Thursdays after school). He's going out with another girl (who, honestly, doesn't look at all like me. BTW.....), and when i told my friends about the 'rumor' he told me about, they told me it hadn't reached them yet. THANK GOODNESS! I think he just wanted to tell me that, or someone told one of my friends and they put a stop to it by saying something like "that's not true, i know her, and she would have told me something like that. don't tell anyone else!"

In the meantime, i would put up with the comments and tell people you can be friends with anyone you want, and to stop asking.

January 19, 2010 at 12:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is this guy in most of my classes (5/7 -advisory), and he's really cute & popular. A few people i know like him too. Honestly, i wouldn't have cared if my friend had gone out with him. HE ALMOST SAID YES TO HER!!! I wouldn't have cared because if we're going to be anything, we're gonna b friends, at least for now. Honestly, i have NO IDEA why people want to go out in sixth grade. Besides, you usually break up after, like, 3 days of going out with each other, so WHAT'S THE POINT??????

January 19, 2010 at 3:59 PM  
Anonymous Telugu News said...

I would say talk to your friend about this.If he don't have any problem with this then don't think much about what people think about you.

February 2, 2010 at 1:19 AM  
Anonymous amanda said...

everybody at school says im in love with my best friend. i used to really like him. so that assured them they were right. truth is people talk. now hes dating my best friend and they talk. unless u 2 go out than theres no stopping them. so try ur best i know its hard. hang in there. i feel 4 u! =))

February 10, 2010 at 8:55 PM  
Anonymous April said...

Dear NG: I have your same situation only that the guy is one of my friends not my best friends.One of my bf friend tell us all the time that we a boyfriends or that we make a great couple.You now what you and me got to do? Ignore them.When they see that it dont matters for you anymore they will get tire of it and will stop the bothering.

remember to be tolerant
April

February 20, 2010 at 3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl, i feel for you! one of my bffs is a boy too! and boy have i gotten the ''ooooh, u like zach! ask him out!" and im like "uhhhh. no. hes my friend and nothing else. gosh it gets so annoying. my advice, just tell them that you like him but u dont LIKE him and say you LIKE someone else(can b a lie if needed)
-
S

March 16, 2010 at 5:59 PM  
Anonymous Raven-Alice said...

My homie be a guy too and all I ever bite back with is...

"So if I'm dating Darren then you must be dating ______!!"

Then they start to hush and learn to grow up. People are just immature nothing special.

April 11, 2010 at 5:56 PM  
Anonymous josephine said...

omg this keeps happin with my best friend thats a boy (nathan) everyone sayd were dating but were not and we always hang out.
we just ignore it and there starting to stop.
whoever they are there just immature or jealous that you have a brill boy mate xx ♥♥♥

April 14, 2010 at 12:05 PM  
Anonymous nickjr said...

Okay, so I know this is kind of late XD but one of my good friends is a boy, and whenever people look at us funny all I say is, "What? He's just a friend that's a boy. Something wrong with that?" XD

April 20, 2010 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger chitnis said...

I think you should just let them believe w.e they want. Its not gonna change anything between the two of you, so no problems. If people start treating you differently, just say "do you have a problem with me hangin with my FRIEND? If you do, too bad!"

April 26, 2010 at 7:36 PM  
Anonymous Lulu 11 said...

i have a girl best friend a two guys who are by best friends too. My bff and i (the girl one) we are practicly the only girls in my grade who have best friends that are guys. No one really makes fun of us cuz we are tomboys.

April 28, 2010 at 3:20 AM  
Anonymous totally-all-over-soccer-players said...

i so know what u mean so this guy who's my bestfriend his name is Nick and everyone thinks i like him but i don't and sometimes it gets really annoying and my girfriends keep saying that i do but i don't and then i told them to stop and they did and no one bothers us about it anymore

May 25, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Anonymous Shhhhh..... said...

i know what you meen! I'm still pretty young, but i've had this really funny and cool guy friend since kintergarden but not too long ago people have started saying that he likes me more than friends and so do i...but it is NOT TRUE!!!! i say just don't listen to them!

May 30, 2010 at 5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so im really late, but likemy best friend is a guy and everything thinks we like each other because we dated once. its hard but once you start ignoring what people say, they really do stop.

May 30, 2010 at 9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know what you are going through. I have a friend that is a boy, we hang out and stuff but not alot, only at school. Anyways, one day it came up that we liked each other. I was like no we are just friends and someone said, "Yeah, boyFRIEND and girlFRIEND." I was like no way but nobody bought it. I just had to deal with it. The bad stuff stopped for the most part. Every once in a while it will come up again. I just have to deal with it.

June 5, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no you do not have to deal with it just tell them we are not going out and say then you and____________ are going out say one of there friends that is a BOY i had to deal with that to but when i said that they left me alone.

May 10, 2011 at 9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am going on a feild trip soon with my class and i like this boy he likes me to butare last feild trip he tryed to sit with me but me best friend yelled "MOVE!! IM SITTING THERE!!!! so he couldnt sit with me :( she probly goign to do it again so do i say no sit in front,behind or next to me in that seat or just dont say anything?

June 1, 2011 at 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

....well actually, there's a lot of people will walk in and out of your life,,,but only true friend will leave footprints in your heart.....remember if someone tease you, ignore them!..

June 4, 2011 at 10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have issues talking to my dad about boys. i dont like talking about but he does help pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssee.

July 27, 2011 at 8:43 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

Hi Anonymous. Just say, "I don't want to talk about boys. It's too awkward." He will say, 95% of the time, "But I'm a boy, too. I can help you." Say, "Dad, I really DON'T want to. Please stop pestering me." Be nice and mature, though.

March 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM  
Anonymous Aiswarya said...

I have the same problem.Plus i'm an indian its not encouraged to have bfs during ur school age.last day even my teacher called me and warned me thinking i'm in relationship with my best friend!!!its really annoying...

February 26, 2013 at 10:39 AM  

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