Don't hog my BFF!

Nichole has a good question. I know I've felt this way from time to time. My best friend, Kate, is so nice and popular and nice. Did I mention how nice she is? Well, she's friends with loads of people. I know she's my bestie, but sometimes I feel like other people take too much of her time. Nichole has a similar question...

Dear PLS,
I have this best friend and all the other girls hog her. how do i get her to like me the best?
nichole
ps. go pls u girls r great! i luv pls!

Can you get someone to like you best and spend the most time with you? Or is it better to hunt around for a different BFF, someone who wants to have just one best friend? I also wonder if you spend too much time competing for someone's attention, if that makes you annoying. Maybe better to enjoy the time you do have with that special friend and the best-best-estest thing will happen naturally?

Think pink!
Jemma

50 Comments:

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think u should tell the friend how u feel. tell her that u feel left out. hope it helped!!!!

July 21, 2009 at 10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as long as you don't show that you want her to like you the most, then everything should be fine. just act happy, and cheerful, no matter what, because people are attracted to happy and cheerful people. just be yourself!

keep smiling!

July 23, 2009 at 5:16 AM  
Anonymous Jordan said...

You should talk to your BFF and tell her that you want to spend more time with her. Then, nobody'll get mad AND you can spend more time with your BFF! I hope I helped.

July 23, 2009 at 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Isabella said...

Try to find new friends. Join a club about things you like. Maybe reading or sports. You will find friends and be able 2 have fun. Don't forget your friends tho. Just share them!

July 23, 2009 at 2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anya said...

Yes i agree just talk to her and tell her that you want to spend some time with ONLY her. And find some friends on the side...like Isabella said.stay friends with your BFF and when she wants to hang out and also find some friends that have some more free time for you! Get involved in activities you like and you are sure to find friends there because you share a same intrest! hope i helped!

July 23, 2009 at 3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All you really need to do is talk to your Bestie and tell her what your feeling and if she is a true friend she will understand and i think she will hope this helps:)

Live-Laugh-Love<3

July 23, 2009 at 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know how u feel because I havve a best friend and it feels like we are splitig apart because she has so many friends and she never hangs with me anymore as much:(

July 24, 2009 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger Suzette said...

Hey Nicole,
i don't know how you fell,but I do know how a person feels if your getting hogged it's a horrible feeling that makes you feel bad,well what happened is 1 of my friends came up and told me that she felt left out by me and i promised her i would fix it,so i did,and TADA we are the best of friends.Hope you make the best decision.
Sincerely,
Suzette

July 24, 2009 at 2:57 PM  
Anonymous NG said...

Dear Nicole,
You should tell her and try to explain how you feel.
P.Sthis happened to me.

July 24, 2009 at 5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Nicole... I know how it feels to be Out-of-place with your most BELOVED bestie.. It happened to me almost like.. 1,000,000x already.. My advice is... Try asking her like, if you would like to choose someone you could be in a lifetime trip in other places, who would it be? These are the choices.. a.(you) b.(her friend) c.(crush).. If she chooses you, ask her why.. If she chooses b., ask her if she means it... And if she chooses c., tell her that she is obsessed with her crush and has to control that stupid obsession.. Knowing the answer through this will surely clear your mind about this horrifying issues.. God Bless you! ( and p.s., i tried this strategy for 999,999x already and it all worked out!! ^^)

Yours truly,
C.A.B.

July 25, 2009 at 7:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey could you guys help me. i have these friends, and they are all clingy and all that and they create the biggest dramas about the stupidest things, and won't let me be friends with this other group and i am so sick of it! they think that i am "their property!"

also i haven't heard from my boyfriend since last year :( what do i do!!??! i've been past his house but only his brother is ever home

please help :(

July 25, 2009 at 10:01 PM  
Anonymous jordan said...

hey i been there before an it kinda makes u jealous sometimes but when i had tht problem i just try to hang out with her as much as i can so then if tht other gurl comes i would already had the time with her

July 28, 2009 at 6:17 PM  
Anonymous KK said...

Ive been there recently my best friend started liking my enemy(the enemy was also hers!) even though my enemy was using her and she couldn't realize it i tried telling her but she wouldn't listen then she realized and she is my bestie pally again and i love her :)

July 30, 2009 at 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Friends,
I think that if you want someone to like you the best you have to just be yourself if they dont like you its there lost. Find someone who like you for you and no one else!!
-Megan

August 4, 2009 at 11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i say u take charge of the realationship
and make sure u'll spend some time 2gether after all u'll are bff.

August 6, 2009 at 12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here is advice from a friendship trouble book i have. If you feel left out from your friends, take a time to get together and talk. tell her how you feel. It will all work out in the end.

August 6, 2009 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous Coco199609 said...

Hi Nichole, This has happened to me countless times before!! One of my friends was hanging around with the girl that I thought was my best friend.., whenever I tried to talk to my best friend, the other girl would always say or do something else that would make my bestie forget what we were talking about. Believe me I know how it feels!! So just tell your best friend how you feel...if she dosen't understand than she's a waste of your time!!!

Coco199609

August 11, 2009 at 11:57 AM  
Anonymous anna said...

well, just try to spend more time with her if not well then i think you need tell her how you fell

i hope it gose okay

August 14, 2009 at 3:21 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

Hey Nicole, I know how you feel. I've been through this numbers of times. What you should do is talk to your friend. Tell her that maybe you feel left out. She will probably understand. If she doesn't, and continues to hang out with someone else, maybe shes not that good of a friend. Good luck. I wish you the best!

August 16, 2009 at 12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am always stuck in the middle of my friends wanting to spend more time with me and yelling at each other that she gets to hangout with me more. Just fight it and if they keep doing it just do what i did. tell them that if they dont stop fighting i wont spend time with either of you.
hope you use my tip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love the pls!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 27, 2009 at 8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your BFF won't leave you very easily, don't act as if you are feeling left out, try to act normal, as it is normal for everyone to also hang out with people who are not their BFFs.....learn to accept this fact and don't get over-obssessed about being with your BFF, there are other people too with whom you can hang out, but at the same time you should remember to not to forget your BFF compeletely.
Hope this helps.....

August 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my friend is so nice we love 2 hang out but this girl trys 2 say that her and my friend never hang out. My friend gets really annoyed cause shes trapped in the middle but the girl always hangs out with her and she sat on me cause i sat next 2 my friend ahhh she gets on my nirves
what should i do?????????????

August 29, 2009 at 8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well y dont u call ur boyfriend but tell ur friends that ur not there property and if they dont stop u wont be there friend as easy as that
hope that helped

August 30, 2009 at 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey nicole this has happened 2 me twice and both times i found a new BFF

August 31, 2009 at 12:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had these 2 best friends we were insepreable until this other girl came into our class and totally toke them away from me and i never hand out with them anymore.xx

September 12, 2009 at 3:35 AM  
Anonymous brianna said...

try to get hr back.talk to her and tell her funny jokes.

September 16, 2009 at 2:43 PM  
Anonymous jasmine said...

if she is really ur best friend then i think she should give you d 1st priority.i know its difficult to talk to her about it but u can definitely show some signs of being left out n having to share ur bffl best frend for life
best of luck

September 21, 2009 at 4:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know how that feels alot of times i don't even get to play with my friends cause of that one girl :(

October 17, 2009 at 11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have this same problem.... cept we fight alot cuz she gets mad when i walk away cuz im bord....... but she COMPLETY IGNORES ME! so i cant help it! latly i have been avoiding them..... she gets mad cuz she thinks im acting like im TO Good for them. when she the won hanging with the cool peeps and not talking to when they are around cuz im not cool enuf! if she was rele my BFFL she wouldnt do tht. just find new friends.... thts what i did. i still talk to her some times. rarely.

November 19, 2009 at 1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am going through the same thing as Nichole with MY BFF too. I mean, i can C why all the other girls like her so much but, well idont know she is so perfect. Not as a person, but as a BFF. i dont know what id do without her. i guess maybe i am a bit jealous. ANY ADVICE PLS GIRLS???????
anonymous (K)

November 20, 2009 at 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totaly have the same problem and i wish she still was always at my side! i know eventuly i will have a good amount of time with her.

ps: i love my bestie j.r.j.

December 1, 2009 at 6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have the same problem but i don't know what to do! sometimes it's like i am completely invisible towards my bestie when she is with her other friends! i know it is a difficult process to get people to like you, but i really want my bestie back!


what do i do :( :(

December 8, 2009 at 1:45 AM  
Anonymous Carla said...

Dont try to impress her, just try to talk with her about this, maybe she is ok.

Hope it helps!!!!

December 13, 2009 at 4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have the same problem what do u ddddddooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

December 20, 2009 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger nuran said...

dont worry i am sure that my problem is bigger than yours

January 11, 2010 at 9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I had this bffl. We totally got each other. felt like nothing could come between. then one day a fight sprang up between all my friends ( i was one of the few who didn't take sides) she got pretty mad at me. The friends on her side start hogging her. I felt awkward just being there. i left them alone after a while. I STILL MISS THEM AWFULLY! My former bffl and i still talk some times but not a lot. i found it easier to move on. some times there better ppl out there.
Are you sure your other friends are hogging her? Or are you just a real control freak? and any lil second she spend with any one else make you feel less loved? ( not trying to be rude its just an idea)

January 12, 2010 at 2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just talk it out...Sometimes words help.Sometimes they hurt.

January 12, 2010 at 2:56 PM  
Anonymous CC said...

My BFF (best freind forever) is drifting away form me,ever since the new girl appered.
Now she knows all our BFF's games, I think they even made a new one. I want my BFF to be my BFF I know I sound selfish but we've been best buds since class 1!!! I want to be nice to the new girl but also talking her to back of my BFF.

February 2, 2010 at 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an idea for you. It actually happened to me before.One of my BFFs had another one of my BFs hog her. The best way is to hang out with people that are friends with the person who is hogging your friend, but is a person you dont really hang out with much. it actually worked for me so try it!

April 20, 2010 at 8:40 PM  
Anonymous Em said...

Okay, so I'm went through the same thing! I started out hanging with this girl named Madisyn, then another girl named Arianna because Madisyn started hanging out with some other girls that didn't really like me. So, Arianna and I became really close... Then Madisyn kinda saw how much fun Arianna was and she was starting to get to know her.Then I got sick and stayed home from school for a day. The next day, when I came back, Arianna and Madisyn were like clicked together.... You could NOT pull them apart! So of course I got really mad. Then I found that that just makes it worsse. I talked to Madisyn about it and she said she will talk to Arianna. Now we are just one big happy family!

May 25, 2010 at 8:49 PM  
Blogger N said...

Anonymous:
I was just at this party and my one friend and a girl I don't like start hanging out. They always want to be partners and only cheer each other on. My friend only sticks up for the girl I don't like and I cryed while eveyone was sleeping. Did I mention that my bff was my friend since we were 3? Not only that, but now another girl does it too and when I want to play with my other friends because I am tired of being bossed around, my friend wants to play. I let her play cause I wanted her to play in the first place, but then a big group of people come following her and we can't play with about 10 people!! Than one if the mean girls started yelling at me and I just walked away where one if my best friends were. Life is complicated and I would love if u guys would give me some tips. I will take some of the other advice from earlier comments and I hope to show my one friend this message to show her that I really feel left out. Thanks a Lot!!

N.M

June 19, 2010 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger Samantha said...

If you truly treasure your BFF, and is pretty sure she feels the same about you then try to spend more time together. Suggest to go to the movies, mall, whatever you want. Just the two of you. Have sleepovers and spend more time together, alone. Talk to her, and hang out with her in and out of school. Hope this helps!

June 30, 2010 at 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey my bff came to my school she has so many friends now she hasnt tallked to me for more than a month. i try to talk to her about it but she is always bizy with her other friends

December 2, 2010 at 8:13 PM  
Anonymous Samantha said...

If your BFF doesn't even have time to talk to you I don't think she's really a good friend. For 3 years, I thought this one girl was my BFF. But she was just so annoying and mean to me, so I went and made new friends and now I like them way better than her.

December 3, 2010 at 8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay so my best friend was a girl in my class all the way to 5th grade towred the end of 5th grade she started to hang with other people and not even talk to me so i finally relized that she wasent a TRUE TRUE friend so if you have that problem move on she/is not a true friend

May 25, 2011 at 5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to be best friends with this girl and she started spending more and more time with soemone else and felt so sad. :(
So I tried to stay loyal and share her with the other person but it just didn't work. She would only want to sit next to the other person and be her partner etc. I just got so annoyed so I started hanging out with someone else, I mean we were all one big group but I would be partners with someone else instead.
Then my original friend was like, "Why are you abandoning me for someone else!" And I was thinking, what nerve!! ANd she got all sad. So I tried to hang out with her more but then the other person that was her new bestie got all sad because she thought that I was spending too much time with her and it just got all confusing! I have no idea what to do! No matter what I do someone will always feel left out!!!

August 19, 2011 at 2:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well i readed all of them and tried it but it didnt work at all and i stayed in the house all day

December 29, 2011 at 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thx guys my real name is sarah and thx my bff apoligise and we went to go play

December 29, 2011 at 10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That happens all the time to me. I hate it when my BFF and her other friend talk behind my back and I rlly think there saying stuff about me.

January 8, 2013 at 7:45 PM  
Anonymous so annoyed with so called friend said...

My friend is really mean. I actually didn't want to be her friend because I was new and I didn't know her but when I was playing with my other friend, she literally dragged me away from her and forced me to play with her. Then , one day I finished all my work and the teacher said it was good and my so called friend ripped all of my hard work into little pieces. I started playing with other people and when I say stop she cries and runs away. She's so sensitive! She thinks I am the one being mean but I said stop. Once she faked getting hurt real badly and made me come with her to the library and she was running around and when I said let's go now cause I thought she was feeling better, she pulled me down and forced me to stay. And when we were walking out the door , I really did get hurt badly and all she said was its only a little thing when my injury was hurting!
Should I be her friend and if not then how do I say so. Please help me pls

August 1, 2015 at 8:05 PM  

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