The race to be popular

Hello! Today's question has to do with something we've all thought about - being popular. In my experience, most people don't think they're popular enough. Here's Lola's question:

Dear PLS,
I'm not exactly the most popular girl in the class, because almost everyone in my class has a boyfriend!
How can I be more popular?

Lola, I think the answer to this question depends on what your definition of popular is. Is it having a boyfriend? Is it having a lot of BFFs? Is it making certain sports teams or being a leader in other groups, such as student council? I think it would be great if being popular meant that a lot of people liked you because you were someone that was fun, friendly, and easy to hang out with. (But I know that's not always how it works out.)

What do you guys think? Can you do something to make yourself more popular? Should you?

Think pink!


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Anonymous Irene :] said...

Hi Lola! I think you should just be yourself and people will really appreciate it. One day,in the far future, when you're working & out of school,maybe one of your school peers would be reminded of you because of something nice that you did. I don't know what it is that makes people in your school popular, but you should go for something that you're comfortable in doing.
Hope this helps! :D

March 9, 2010 at 12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, in my opinion you should just be yourself and not worry about being popular! that's not what life's all about. we are on this earth for such a short time that we should enjoy our lives and not let them pass us by. worry about making yourself better on the inside and when you put yourself first and take pride in yourself, then you'll be more popular. but there are worse problems than not being popular. think about the poor people in Haiti and in Chile. think about all the starving children out there. so, just be yourself and be happy with your life!
- veronica t. 12

March 9, 2010 at 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Josie said...

Hi Lola! Don't try and be popular. Being a kind, caring, helpful and cheerful person is so much more important.

March 9, 2010 at 2:44 PM  
Anonymous hi3334 said...

Just as Irene, Veronica and Josie said, you should be yourself and not worry about what other people think. After all, nerds are the ones who rule the world!!! :)
Yay! It's my birthday today! Oh yeah! 15!!!!

March 9, 2010 at 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Popular is one of those "eye of the beholder" things.
Personally I say you have achieved popular when you have friends you love, people in your grade enjoy your company(it does not have to be everyone), and you are happy in your own skin.
Remember, making yourself happy with what you're doing and caring for others is the most important thing.
Stay Pink!
Green Girl

March 9, 2010 at 4:45 PM  
Anonymous Ari;) said...

Hi Lola! I think you should be yourself and don't worry too much about being popular. Just because other people have boyfriends, it doesn't mean you have to have one too. Just be who you are and people will like you for that. Be happy for who you are. And if one day you become the kind of popular person you want to be then that's great! But just be yourself, friendly, and have fun because that's the true meaning of being popular.

March 9, 2010 at 4:55 PM  
Anonymous Alarie said...

Being popular isnt important at all. Just be who you are, and if you do become popular it should be because you were doing something that benefited everyone in the right way.

March 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM  
Anonymous Judith said...

Well, coming from someone as old as me, (17 by the way) it doesn't matter if you're popular or not. I'm 17 and I STILL don't have a boyfriend. Can you believe that? :D who cares about those popular people? Just hang with your usual group and show others how much FUN you guys are having without BEING popular. :)


March 10, 2010 at 3:42 AM  
Anonymous Maria said...

Dear Lola,

Being popular isn't important at all in the first place, it can be burdening to be too popular if you are a responsible person. I was one since I was a the top of my class but I wasn't a book nerd who never pop out of books. I was always with my friends doing all the fun stuff which automatically made me popular. People always looked up to me and followed the things that I do and it's quite hard to give all of them a good example. Humans do make mistakes but if you're a really popular kid, your one mistake might be worse than a hundred of others!

By the way, did I mention that I've never ever had a boyfriend and most of the other girls think it's cool not to have a boyfriend because I don't have one? You see, everything I do counts... I really had a hard time trying to keep up with my good name.

But if you really want to be popular, you do not need a boyfriend... just be friendly and let yourself out but believe me you don't want to be who I was...

*I used past tense since I am currently homeschooling. My mother pulled me out last Dec coz we moved to California and mum thinks that the schools there aren't right for me... Btw, I'm 17.

March 10, 2010 at 9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am also one of the only girls in my grade to not have a boyfriend. I know from personal expeirence that it shouldn't matter who you hang out with, it just matters who you really are.

March 10, 2010 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger Jemma said...

I L-O-V-E all the comments to Lola's question. You guys are great!

March 10, 2010 at 7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lola, you don't need a boyfriend to be popular.... just be yourself! Just be nice and friendly, and trust me, that will get you some where! Because kindness counts! I have proof also! There's this one boy that I like and he's really nice and friendly and everyone loves him! Now I think it's going a little bit too far because there are other girls after him! :( But my point is, he doesn't have a girlfriend(I hope) but he's still nice to everyone and he is popular. And it's not always about being popular, it's also about being yourself!
Hope this helps,
E'Niyah, 12

March 10, 2010 at 7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just be yourself Lola. If that doesn't work, ask a friend to help you, or try out new hairstyles, or outfits if yoyu wear the same thing everyday. I know you can do it!

March 10, 2010 at 8:07 PM  
Anonymous Jazmin :) said...

Be yourself and if your friends want you to be popular tell them to accept you as you are.

March 11, 2010 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous Ari :) said...

Hahahaha Jazmin is my best friend and we both absolutely love this site! And she copied my smiley face after my name!!! LOL

March 12, 2010 at 4:52 PM  
Anonymous ILIK3F00D!! said...

just be urself!!! just hang out wid the friends who dont care if ur popular or not, but care about ur great personality. ok, im a "smarticle" girl n at first evryone thought i was a nerdy girl, but evryone in my class (all boys n girls) r my friends. once evryone gets to know u better n know ur a great friend n maybe even a great socializer, they will be ur friend n they wont care about ur being popular.they will only care about ur personality. good luck n hang in their girl!! hope evryone will be ur friend!!

March 12, 2010 at 8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is no accurate description of being popular. it may seem like the most important thing but trust me its not. if you have many good friends and people who like you because you are yourself, you are popular.

March 12, 2010 at 10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what is popularity? n how do u become 'popular'?

just asking questions :)


March 13, 2010 at 10:33 PM  
Anonymous Rachel said...

As long as you have great friends, them you ARE popular! I feel left out sometimes too! ( I have spina bifida )

March 14, 2010 at 8:18 AM  
Anonymous Kaitlyn411 said...

I agree with Rachel. And I believe that popular girls should be:


But that's just me.


March 14, 2010 at 10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trying to make urself more popular usually will just make u mean. It may get u special treatment but maybe u should just aim to be the nicest girl in ur class.Hope this helps.

March 14, 2010 at 1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey furget about it your fine !

March 14, 2010 at 2:54 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

just be yourself and people will like you for who you are and if you don't have a boy friend who cares if they don't like you for not having a boyfriend it's there loss because they don't like you for who you are and that's who they should really like you for. I really hope this helps I'm 10 1/2

March 14, 2010 at 7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, I say ignore them. You don't go to school to be popular, but to learn. But don't worry. Eventually someone in you life will love you and you will love them at the same time. Trust me, in 6th grade i should know!!!!

March 14, 2010 at 8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All i have to say is that being popular isnt everything.

March 14, 2010 at 9:29 PM  
Anonymous HappyDolphin;) said...

Just ignore all those people. Just be yourself and people will appreciate you for who you are.

March 15, 2010 at 1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Lola,
i know how it feels when u r pressured and want to be more popular but really its not as cool as it looks.. i have a friend thats basically the most popular girl in school but she gets followed around every second of the day and shes really not enjoying it so just be urself.. its the best u can be!!

March 17, 2010 at 10:06 AM  
Anonymous aLLiKaTT <(**<) said...

Heya Lola!
Just hang in there. Life isn't about being popular, it's about letting your inner beauty shine through. Take it from the popular girl at her school's experience. Being popular isn't fun if you're like me. Everyone knows you, and you lose that mysterious quality about you. Plus, being popular means you have to set the example, so the principal will peg you out of the group of kids who are breaking the same rule.

No matter what you do, just be you! You were made the way you are, so don't worry about it! :)

March 18, 2010 at 7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear PLS,

When I got my first period i didnt know what was going on!! It was really scary cause my mom never told me anything about puberty til she noticed the blood on my underwear in the wash! She basically just told me "it's a sexual thing" Gee, thanks mom... She doesnt even know i know what tampons are and ,God, I need one! Only reason i know stuff is caouse o' this brilliant website!! I NEED to talk to my mom about puberty I just NEED to!!!! What should I do??!!!

Thanks! :)


March 18, 2010 at 4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in my grade (6th) popular is having lots of friends and a possy. but the popular girl ,calista, has a lot of friends , a boyfriend, and sometimes she has an additude but really fun! i am actually part of her possy as much as i dont want to say it but i think here aer some tips if thats what popular is in your school:

sporty but hot
kewl accecories
and just try to act like you arent trying to be popular... like its just happening. (when i was mad at her a few friends became my popssy and btw hoop earings , smooth har, and a nice hair flip every-so-often does the trick! :) good luck!

March 19, 2010 at 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, I say ignore all that boyfriend business. Alot of the girls at my school have gotten in serious trouble for having boyfriends. Most of the "popular" girls at my school are my friends - not because I have a boyfriend, but because I be myself. And I'm not popular at my school! 6th grade's a mess!

March 19, 2010 at 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your mom might feel uncomfortable telling you about this stuff, or maybe she just doesnt have time. either way, you do need to know even tho this is one of the most embarrassing things in the world, i suggest you talk to her. first. but i admit, even i would not do this. im not really good at this stuff,...but hey, if you really do talk to her, i give you two thumbs up!!

March 20, 2010 at 11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


March 21, 2010 at 3:53 PM  
Anonymous priscila said...

Hi Lola,
life is not about being popular.
just be yourself. never try to be
something your not.

March 21, 2010 at 9:13 PM  
Anonymous leann said...

Hi lola, be crazy and stand out but you dont have to if you dont want to:)

March 22, 2010 at 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lola, just be yourself. If people don't like you because of who you are, that's their problem. Be who you wanna be and ignore them:)

Eva, 12

March 23, 2010 at 2:23 PM  
Anonymous Missy said...

Look being popular is stupid no offense to popular ppl but my mom had a highschool reunion and half the popular kids didnt show up and the ones who did were fat and had really cruddy jobs so be yourself and study up and try to get higher than what you dreamed beacuse my mom was first the biggest geek in school to a fashion designer that is building her way up so be you and be free

March 24, 2010 at 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lola, i think its just really important to be who you are. Dont pretend to be someone you are not, other people dont like fake people. Dont worry about everyone else having boyfriends, if your not ready for a boyfriend dont worry. Dont worry about being popular, people should like you for who you are and not who you are pretending to be.

March 25, 2010 at 4:10 AM  
Anonymous megan said...

hi lola

i have the exact same problem
but i try to except that he hasent come along yet
youl find him soon

from megan

p.s btw thers no such thing as being popular everyone is equal
from megan

March 28, 2010 at 7:30 AM  
Anonymous Gleek14 said...

oh don't we all wish that! Here's a tip...
just be yourself!!! thats the best way! If people like you for you, then that's great! and if certain people don't, it's their loss! ;)
Just stick by your true friends, and hopefully they will stick by you!

March 28, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lola,and all of you other girls out there, being "popular" really isn't that important. From personal experience,they may look like they're always having fun, but they're really just struggling to look like it. Popularity is like an unstable bridge that could break any moment,so don't do the stupid thing and try to get on it.

March 31, 2010 at 8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hay lola being popular dosnt mean getting all the guys and droling over YORSELF last year i was nice to people and this year i tried to be popular and it dindt work out so i asked my frind and she said u were popular last year but now your not so theres a story for ya the point is be kind nice and yorself not the popular girl
good luck

April 3, 2010 at 7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi guys,
i m Rain u know I m always nice to my friends but while i m nice they r kinda blaiming me for what they do and i m new in my school it won't work if i say i did nothing,because they don't believe me cause i m new
what should i do?

April 6, 2010 at 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

everyone is popular if you are surronded by people who love you

April 8, 2010 at 8:24 PM  
Anonymous Noelle said...

HI Lola! I'm pretty popular,but there is nothing so great about it. I used to have a boy friend that was my crush. It was so much fun with him. But to be popular be funny and kind. I am and I'm popular. If you need anymore advice I'm mostly on this website. Your Welcome!!!!

April 10, 2010 at 12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you should be who you are then to me you are considered popular

April 13, 2010 at 6:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Lola!
I don't think you should try to be popular because popular people always go dum over their popularity and then when they grow up they have really crapp.y jobs and not very much money for anything and then instead of cooking healthy meals (which is very affordable) they go to the fast food places all the time, then they get fat and overweight and none of the clothes that they have make them loook good so they have to go around looking like dorks.
so I don't mind that im not the most popular person i have great friends and a great education so later in life it will be great!
xox Cynthia F

April 15, 2010 at 4:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every class has a popular crew, but that dosen't mean you like them does it? There is no formula for being popular just try and fit in with people like you and form a little group and then you will be happy and popular with YOUR don't have be popular in everyone's eyes. XX

April 15, 2010 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger aris said...

Well is it the fact you want to be? Or your pressured to be a popular person?If you want to, it's cool. Just do what is right. Don't get popular by pushing people around though!!

April 17, 2010 at 11:13 PM  
Anonymous Allison said...

popular........ pop......ular..... wow that one single word can cause an earthquake of hatred! being popular should never be one of your MAIN priorities. Your should always have a nice group of friends that you know will stay by you through thick and thin though..... if you REALLY want to be popular, show people how nice and funny you are and eventually people will start relizing what a great friend you are! good luck! <3

April 18, 2010 at 4:25 PM  
Anonymous Maddy said...

There's this girl in my class who's really popular too but she always talks about people and has no real friends. Don't cave in to popularity it's no. Worth it

April 18, 2010 at 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear lola
it d,oesnt matter if your popular just be yourself or ask to be popular

if their your true friends they'll invite you.

April 21, 2010 at 8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just be urself and if your friends dont accept you for who you are then tell them i dont care what you say you will eventuly get one and then they will probaly accept you for who you are and being popular means your probaly going to be mean so just be youself and dont listen to them if theysay something mean there just beig bullies because there jelous.hope this helped


April 24, 2010 at 10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


April 25, 2010 at 9:19 AM  
Anonymous Estera said...

you don't need to be popular but if ya want to i got some advice. What's the latest trend? wear it. if your parents don't approve find something similar that your parents approve of. Did something rare ever happen to you like getting an autograph from justin beiber? if so make sure lots of people know about it. you're sure to be popular!

April 26, 2010 at 4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey lola this happens :( it can be so frustrating when you wanna be like everyone else, yet can't figure out just how. But what you need to do is stay strong! If you act like the awesome person I am sure you are, people might start wanting to be best friends with you, if they see you are different, in a good way, by not getting a boyfriend to fast, they might admire that about you. hope this helps!

April 26, 2010 at 4:43 PM  
Anonymous hannah said...

i wouldn't wanna be popular these days . i dont want that happening to you.then you will get into huge trouble. i bet being nice and caring is the place where you wanna be these days. im not even close to being popular and im fine with it. think of the good sides of not being popular. you have true friends and that can pay off. but you are at school so you can do your best and thats what you need to focus on.

April 27, 2010 at 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

w3ll i think that u shuldnt try 2 b popular bkuz first if u d0 sum wrong itz goinna spray all over the shool...second bkuz all the attention is on you you might feel like ur everythin so ur attitude changes in many ways n it can cause you pros with ur friend,family,n maybe even ur bf....

April 28, 2010 at 2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

NOOO dont try to be popular even if you really want to take it from someone who know ive been trying to get popular for years and when i started being my selfe and making friends that arent the most popular kids like me i got a awesome boyfriend and lots of great friends and then i bet the popular kids thought we were more popular cause we were all great friends so just be your selefe

April 30, 2010 at 4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey lola just if you be u ,u can do something hang wit the cool cats talk about something they want to amber

April 30, 2010 at 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm assuming by being popular you mean Regina George (from the movie mean girls) popular; dress modestly (not tarty) be nice but make sure people know that you are not someone who will stand for nonsense!

May 1, 2010 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous hannah said...

first dont try to be popular because you can get into gossip and that can are at school to do your best and be what you wanna be. worry about you. you dont need a boyfriend yet. those girls in your class arent ready and i can tell. school is not to get popular or have a make out session with guys. worry about you and you will see overtime how having a boyfriend your age can just hurt you. i bet guys dont deserve you:)

May 13, 2010 at 7:28 PM  
Anonymous lilly said...

just be yourself at school you dont have to be popular.

ps trust me i go to school and i dont want to be popular at my school all the popular people are horrible and like the center of you dont have to be popular or have a boyfriend you are to young anyway

May 24, 2010 at 11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know alot of people that are popular. most of the time the popular ones are really mean. but trust me, those people will soon think the pop. ones r not cool. trust me, it happens alot. I think u should be urself.

May 25, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
Anonymous hannah 12 said...

your mom shoulda told you, but maybe she wanted to wait. you know that talk can be "uncomfortable" but i had mine too but i knew what was going on. periods are normal. tell your mom "hey can i talk to you about my "aunt flow". i really hope this helps

June 1, 2010 at 7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

being popular is worthless if u lose urself in da process. so just be urself. love urself, be kind, happy, fun and loving:) its totally worthit! and if people don't like u 4 hu u are, den tell dem 2 fly a kite! BCOZ DEY DON'T DESERVE U! mwaaaah:)

June 6, 2010 at 8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i say you should just be who u r. in my school popular is when you're kind and nice to peeps not having a boyfriend and stuff.maybe explain that to your friends. it might help. bye!Think Pink! -iz

June 6, 2010 at 7:09 PM  
Anonymous E said...

Hola Lola!
I feel your pain- I don't have a boyfriend either. But why do you have to? Seriously, I haven't even started liking boys yet. But I'm pretty popular because people like certain qualities about me. If you like to sing, maybe you'll make friends in chorus. It's things you have in common with people that makes you popular- not your arm candy. Hope this helps!

June 7, 2010 at 10:57 PM  
Anonymous Chrissy said...

Hey Lola!
All the girls in my class have boyfriends! Guess what? I don't have one. Why do you need to have a boyfriends anyway? My friend is 18 and she doesn't have a boyfriend!

Popularity is personality! Remeber that, girls usually would do anything to be popular. But everyone will have their own friends. I'm sure you have at least one friend.

June 13, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU DONT WANT TO BE "POPULAR" you want to "FIT" in. So if all of them have a boyfriend GET a boyfriend.
P.S. when i did all of his friends automatically became my friends so i wouldn't say that i was popular but I did fit in more

June 22, 2010 at 10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always wanted to be a popular kid, and I know you've heard this a billion times but just be yourself! Try talking to those "popular" people and you guys might just end up being friends. You don't HAVE to get a boyfriend if you don't want to. Just try and chat with them, maybe join an activity they're in, you'll get there!! :) Think Pink!

June 29, 2010 at 5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am going to be totally honest.the "popular" girls in my school are so mean. they make fun of other girls and start drama because they want attention.i use to wanna be like them so i started to hang out with them and then i noticed how mean they were. so i stopped. once i hung out wit my real friends and a gruop that i liked. i made progress and made way more friends in school. i also got a boyfriend! but then after a while i broke up with him. i say it is better to hang out with the group u fit in the best with.

July 10, 2010 at 1:14 AM  
Anonymous Megan said...

Dear lola
Not a cool subject.It is sometimes dont need to be popular. just be yourself and loosen day you just might get a boyfriend. Just dont rush to every boy you see.
A friend

August 5, 2010 at 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dont worry, you dont neccessarily need a boy friend to become popular. i dont have one and im pretty popular. just be popular by being kind, funny, and always remember to be yourself. i was like you once, when i really wanted a boy friend, but think about it, dont you want someone you actually really like instead of wasting your time?

October 6, 2010 at 12:19 AM  
Anonymous XxXDayummZoeyy:)XxX said...

Well having a boyfriend doesnt maek you popular!!! If you really want to be popular be u not someone else join a club or something!!! I dont have a boyfriend and i am popular i am captain of the cheerleading squad and i am just myself and let me tell you being popular isnt always everything!

October 18, 2010 at 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can't just become popular. Try making friends with the popular kids and hang around them. Then after a while they might like you and then you are popular well in that group but still.

November 28, 2010 at 3:38 AM  
Anonymous Clodagh said...

Hi Lola
Being popular does help you feel good (cmon it does!)
To be popular you don't need boyfriends or fancy shoes you just have to show that you're a leader not a follower. Be happy about yourself and keep your chin up. Be a chatty person, a trendsetter and smart!
Soon you'll be as popular as ever! But remember being popular isn't everything..!
Hope this helps

December 5, 2010 at 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Isabel said...

Hi Lola. Remember that being popular is not everything. What matters is that you have good friends by your side.

January 28, 2011 at 4:42 PM  
Anonymous Hillfilly said...

just be yourself.people should like you for the way you really are

February 17, 2011 at 8:47 PM  

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