Back-stabbing friends?

Becky1998 asks a common question:

what do u do about it if ur friends keep stabbing u in the back?

Let's start by describing back-stabbing. I think this is someone who means to be a jerk, who then goes right ahead and hurts your feelings, or tells lies about you. Real back-stabbing feels just like it sounds - like someone has come up behind you and - whammo! - hits you from behind. That completely stinks.

Other times, I've been tempted to call something back-stabby, but it turned out to be something else. The person didn't act perfectly, but it wasn't like they wanted to hurt me or like hurting me was why they did what they did. (For a GREAT example of this, please read Best Kept Secret, book 2 in the Pink Locker Society series. it comes out Jan. 4. Here's a hint: The possibly back-stabbing incident involved both Piper and Forrest!)

But back to Becky, if you have a real back-stabber on your hands, I say you should tell her what's on your mind. If her behavior doesn't change, it's time to cross her off your friend list, in my opinion.

What about the rest of you? What's your best advice for Becky? Have you even been in a back-stabbing situation, or even, were a back-stabber. I'm sure you feel bad about it now.

Think pink!


All comments are reviewed by KidsHealth® and will be approved prior to posting.

Posting tips: No swear words, mean talk, or personal information, such as last names, school names, addresses, phone numbers, or email addresses should be used.

Anonymous Josie said...

Just keep your head up, and ignor that person.

December 27, 2010 at 9:48 PM  
Anonymous Annie said...

hey! im totally in your position. one of my friends did something with me once and we didn't finish it all, so a week later without telling me she decided to do the rest herelf.all i have to say is to ignore it.

December 27, 2010 at 9:52 PM  
Anonymous Smile said...

I have actually had two "friends" stab me in the back. The first time I had no idea what to do because I had no idea people could actually be so mean in real life. Second time around I just made a joke about her insult. Joking about an insult that is directed at you kinda confuses the back-stabber and may make them stop hurting you (emotionally).

But, that may not always work. Sometimes back-stabbing isn't to your face, it could be like mean gossip, messages, ect. In those situations I would ask the "friend" why she was doing that and tell her to stop. The "friend" probably isn't a friend if she or he hurts you.

If the back-stabbing is serious, like the back-stabber won't quit hurting you I would tell an adult.

December 28, 2010 at 12:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What happened? There aren't many people commenting anymore! I'll tell all my friends about this blog and hopefully there will be more pink girls!

December 30, 2010 at 12:34 AM  
Anonymous mona said...

that hppend to e so i stopped talking to her if pesons like that thee not worthy to have such a good friend

December 31, 2010 at 7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my BFF was yelling outin frount of my school ellies a retard

January 2, 2011 at 4:22 AM  
Blogger Jemma said...

That's mean to you and mean in another way, too. Check out this article on what mental retardation is and why we shouldn't call each other that.
Think pink!

January 2, 2011 at 8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have had friends like that she just wouldnt stop!!! i finally just ignored it! it was the best way. she stopped after a while because she wouldnt get a reaction from me!

January 2, 2011 at 12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just ignore and walk away! She'll realize her mistake!

January 4, 2011 at 4:12 PM  
Anonymous Viktoria said...

Tell an adult if it's serious(or not). Ignore the person or smile at them and then they will be confused.

January 6, 2011 at 7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Iv been stabbed in the back more than enough by lots of different people. trust me, ignoringit doesnt make it stop. first of all, stop being this persons friend, then if u really need to,tell someone like an adult.u could also confront this person and see why there doing this to u and see if u can get them to stop.

January 7, 2011 at 4:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree. If she starts bullying then tell someone or get another friend and stay away from her. If you make a joke they will get confused and start ignoring you.

January 17, 2011 at 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh i agree you should tell another friendand leave he back stabber without you

January 29, 2011 at 8:10 PM  
Anonymous l said...

ignoring is good advice
but it always doesnt work
u will have 2 deal with it and act like nothing happened
cant call em ur friend anymore

January 30, 2011 at 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, If this person is being mean and insulting than that just means they're jealous.

So what you should do is that you should
1.Ignore them.
2.Tell an adult

OR just be like forget you I can be friends with anyone I want.

February 6, 2011 at 10:43 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

Dear Becky, I'm in the same position. But, what I did was I tried back-stabbing her. But, I felt really awkward and mean about doing that. So what I did after that was I just talked to her and asked her why she was talking bad about me. And she had her reasons. And she said that there was a rumor around saying I kissed her boyfriend, which I didn't. So what I think you should do is just try to talk to her and ask her why she was back-stabbing you. Well, that's just my opinion. Well, I hope you get your friend back! =) Love, Jennifer

February 7, 2011 at 8:47 PM  
Anonymous Kaitlynn said...

i have really been in your position before. one of my "friends" who goes to a different school saw me at the store and came over just to say that i was a B**** and when i asked her why she said "because you just are". so my advice is to hold your head up high and tell them how you feel. if that doesn't work than tell an adult about it. I hope you figure it out. =D Love, Kaitlynn

February 8, 2011 at 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Chasity said...

I have a friend that maybe doesn't stab me in the back but like to embarrasses me sometimes. She's lied about me too, but we've been friends for more then seven years and I don't know why she's been like this lately. I don't even know if I want to be her friend anymore but how do I break it off after all these years?

February 10, 2011 at 3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do I fix my broken friendship with my x bffs

February 10, 2011 at 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ive had a friend i have known since birth and she was always nice to me to my face on day my friend told me she was talking behind my back about me and i didnot berlive it she had gotten the whole conversation recorded u would not have known the things she said about me....... what should i do she was calling me fat and ugly i will admit ht i am chunky but it makes me feel babd tht she says that my mom says to ignor her but everytime i do tht she says worse stuff to me any thing u guys tink i should do????

February 11, 2011 at 7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi just yesterday my bff or soo i thoght did somthing i hated more then ever she asked my boyfriend to be her sience fair partner then when i called him he said he was busy when i could see him with a wow look in his eyes. and thay were at the library togather she was going around the school saying he was her new boyfriend my friend told me so sould i be upset with her or him . oh and by the way i let out my anger and with my diary like i meke up a story life like this thx bye:)

February 23, 2011 at 7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my good friend since second grade stopped sitting w/ me and my other friend sudenly one day. i waz so confused, and i felt really used and betrayed. i also felt like i had done something wrong, even wen i adnt- she had just moved on. My mom and friends helped me get thru it, and they reminded me that i will hav alot of friendships thru out my life, but they will always b there 4 me :)

February 28, 2011 at 7:17 PM  
Anonymous Isabella said...

Just keep your head up and do what makes you happy. Don't worry about the other girl.

March 12, 2011 at 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Ope said...

i have back stabbing friends too!!! so i understand ur problem i give u some sympathy my friends always talk behind my back one time i sneaked up behind them to see what they were saying and they said i was ugly and cracked horrible jokes. not to mention one time they said i had a great hairstyle. total backstabbers!!!!!

August 5, 2011 at 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Don'tWorryBecky! said...

It's okay. If someones says something behind your back, talk to them about it. Maybe they weren't trying to be mean. If they keep doing it talk to a trusted adult. This worked for me.

January 20, 2012 at 8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try not to use the term 'backstab', it's kind of a nasty word. Maybe you and your not-so-much friend anymore need a break, you were friends once, and then I guess you guys outgrew each other. Think of it like this, if you put two plates together, they're going to rub against each other, wear down and maybe eventually break. That's what it's like with friends and people. You and your friend seem to be 'wearing down' right now. But don't think about it all the time. It'll just make you sad and angry. Try finding your second closest friend or meet someone new. I know it makes you feel really angry at someone when they talk behind your back. It's something that shouldn't be done because it's just plain mean. Don't let that bring you down, keep your chin up and be happy! Good luck with everything!

February 3, 2012 at 10:49 PM  
Anonymous ♥Immy♥ said...

forget them.

April 16, 2012 at 6:17 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home