Jenn's bonus question

It came in on February 13, but we folded Jenn's question into the Valentine's Day bunch. Let's all help with this friend problemo.

dear pls,
my friend and i used to be really close, but now she has 20 bazillion more friends than me, she's had like 5 boyfriends, and rubs everything in my face. also, i hate ALL of her friends and she hates mine and always criticizes them and says not to be friends with them when i keep quiet about hers. im just about to blow becuz i hate her guts! how can i tell her that she's hurting my feelings if she tells her friends every single thing? how can i be comfortable around her? how can i not want to wish she lived on a different planet, along with her friends? is there anyway to make these feeling disappear?

PLEASE HELP!
love,
jenn, 12


This is tough. It worries me when you say you "hate" anyone, especially a friend. It sounds to me like you're really upset about how things have turned out. No. 1, I'd figure out if you still want to be friends with this person. Sometimes, we grow apart from people. That's OK, especially if you are not enjoying being around her.

Or maybe, if you talked with her, she'd understand where you're coming from and there would be fewer problems. I think people like to hear something like, "You are an important friend to me and I wish we could be close like we used to be."

Finally, I feel like you're feeling jealous of your friend. Totally normal! But try not to take it out on her. You seem like a girl who has lots of energy. Pour it into other stuff, like becoming good at a sport or something else you like. You also might spend your energy on the friends in your life that you are getting along with. You and your former friend could become close again (or not) but in the meantime try to focus on what's going right instead of on what's going wrong.

What other advice can we give Jenn, Pink Locker girls?

Think pink!
Jemma

32 Comments:

All comments are reviewed by KidsHealth® and will be approved prior to posting.

Posting tips: No swear words, mean talk, or personal information, such as last names, school names, addresses, phone numbers, or email addresses should be used.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that you should try to say, "Um (your friends name), you're friendship is important to me, but you're really hurting my feelings when you trash talk about my other friends. It's really going to hurt this friendship." If this doesn't work I think you should leave her alone, even though it will be hard, just leave her alone.

February 27, 2011 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Josie said...

It might just be time to end the friendship, but that's up to you.

February 27, 2011 at 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats she got against your friends?

February 28, 2011 at 1:55 PM  
Anonymous Roc Royal Wifey said...

Well,you should ask her what problems does she have with your friends and talk about it.But BE KIND WHEN YOU ASK HER...!

February 28, 2011 at 4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is the friendship important to you? if she isn't the same girl she was, maybe the friendship isn't either- and she isn't your friend if you she treats you like that. Surround yourself with friends who really care about you- suppoortive, friendly, and dependable. you don't need a friendship that will only bring you down.

February 28, 2011 at 6:24 PM  
Anonymous olive101 said...

maby somethinngs going on at home that shes upsset about. or maby shes just been playing jerk. wat ever it is id steer kleer of her. good luck

March 1, 2011 at 12:41 PM  
Anonymous rachel said...

Time to put this friendship to the test! Your friend is "popular". I had to stop being friends with a girl because she took being popular way too seriously. I did that by avoiding her and ignoring her. I really hope you find a way to be happier.

March 1, 2011 at 9:43 PM  
Anonymous Kari Joy said...

I think you should talk to her. You could say something like: "Hey, you have been criticizing me and being mean lately and if you still want to be my friend we need to figure this out." If it doesn't work i think you need to let her go. Surround your self with good friends!

March 2, 2011 at 4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not see yer friend for a while and when u c her again, maybe she'll be different.

March 2, 2011 at 9:34 PM  
Anonymous Jenn(J5EdubbleN) said...

thanks guys i'll try the ideas!!! :-D

March 3, 2011 at 9:35 PM  
Anonymous mexicanluv said...

if shes treating u like that then shes not a very good friend your to good for her anyway!

March 12, 2011 at 5:19 PM  
Anonymous Isabella said...

If she is still mean to you, you might just have to forget about her and move on. I can tell by what you said that you are a good friend. Just hang out with the people that care about you. Good Luck! :)

March 13, 2011 at 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your jealous and thats perfectly alright but you shouldnt take it out on her. I have way more friends than my friends and also more boyfreinds and sometimes the get mad but there are some things you cant help.

March 14, 2011 at 1:18 PM  
Anonymous steph said...

She probably just wants to act like shes better than you. I agree with isabella and im sure that you will find good friends if you try.

March 18, 2011 at 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, all I can say is that the world around her has turned her into a hideously mean snob. Its amazing what her peers can do to her, huh?

Avoid looking at her or the feelings will wash over u. At school, dont talk 2 her, then maybe she'll get the idea that ur "boring" and she wont bother u.

if she still does bother u, talk to her REALLY blankly. dont be mean and roll ur eyes at her even though shes REALLY mean 2 u. try giving one word answers like 'oh' or 'interesting'. But give LIMITED enthusiasm.

if she asks if ur interested in wat shes talking about, say 'sorry not really' and she'll probably storm off and not talk 2 u- which is good.

if u get involved in other things, you'll end up in a better situation. :)

if she dobs on u for not being interested, then simply say to the teacher 'I was only being honest and I didn't really want to hear what she was talking about'.

:)

March 20, 2011 at 2:23 AM  
Anonymous marykate said...

just ignore her.....she sounds like a bully not a friend........make it clear that you dont like the friendship.

March 30, 2011 at 8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

`You can either try to work the relationship out, or just ignore her. You might be a little bit jealous of her with all the bragging, but she might also really envy something you have, like a good relationship with your parents. Sometimes when people have anxiety and bad things going on outside of school, it can really mess them up for a while.

March 31, 2011 at 9:49 PM  
Anonymous madelyn said...

sum times the frends can roll u in or maybe your yourin for your old frend ship i understand some peple r hard to deal with maybe she has more attention around alot of people that she barly notices u, thats ok u can go up to the frends and say "may i play with my Frend?" or u guys can get together ALL of your frends and talk about everthing u guys like, u guys can start a club and be bffs 4 ever hoped this helped

April 16, 2011 at 7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why does she hate you ?what did u ever do to her?

April 21, 2011 at 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do tampons hurt????
im scared 2 have my . !!!!!

April 30, 2011 at 12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

move on, she will only realise how much she needs you, but she wud hav lost u by then. :)

May 1, 2011 at 5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my freind and I have a weird relastionship, in fourth grade she diched me at school but we where still freinds out of school I think one of the girls in school threatended her in some way to hang out with her and not me do you think this will happen again in septemper when I start to 6th grade?

May 27, 2011 at 8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay the girl that said to tampos hurt just dont use them but nope they probley dont i am goign to start mine soon and i will only use pads no tampons for me :D

May 27, 2011 at 9:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i recently became BEST BEST friends with a girl in my class and we have 8 days left of school i have her # but do you think next year we will even be friends? plz help me i dont want to hurt her feeling by saying OH WE WONT BE FRIENDS NEXT YEAR! thats mean so i need a lot of magger help :0 im in shock so help plz and thanx

May 27, 2011 at 9:37 PM  
Anonymous shine said...

look say to ur [former]friend: "ur friends have been really rude lately i'm not asking u 2 defriend the just ask them to be nicer and the u've been acting is also been a little rude 2 could u also be a little nicer" and if that doesn't work she's not worth it i also had a little problem in the friend dept.the pls girls have to stick together i'm 100% behind u think pink

July 5, 2011 at 7:59 PM  
Anonymous shine said...

i feel i jenn i have that problem to this girl thought it would be hurting her "coolness" to hang with me .but us PLS girls have to stick together i'm 100% behind u

July 5, 2011 at 8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm in a sitch like that. But my friend and I have never had a fight because we tell each other how we feel up front. But try not to do so when you are feeling angry or upset because words can slip out wrong when you feel like that. So make sure you cool your jets, ask for a minute alone, then KINDLY but confidently tell her how you feel. I hope things work out and if it does lead to a fight, Just know that fights are healthy and if she doesn't come around, she wasn't a true friend anyways. Good luck!!! <3

July 6, 2011 at 10:54 PM  
Anonymous shine said...

i've had something like that where she lied to people about hangin' with me 'cause she thought'd it would affect her "coolness" the point is i'm there for u.us pink locker girls got to stick together

July 11, 2011 at 8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay that girl is kinda of being a frenemie. if she says bad things about your friends I don't wan't to be rude but you need to let her go.

August 21, 2011 at 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just tell her how you feel... i know its hard, just go to the library or something and tell her... oh and if you see her guy to just walk away, maybe ur just a little jelous that shes always being asked out?

hope this helped,
crazydaydreamer

August 22, 2011 at 1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give her a second chance at being your friend, let her know how you feel. Everyone deserves a second chance!:)

October 30, 2011 at 5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i also have a friend who really hurts my feelings with what she says and what i do is that i tell i 2 her in a very straight way whatever i feel

February 28, 2012 at 9:07 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home