Question No. 11: How it feels to be the new girl

Have you ever been "the new girl?" Let's help Lily with her question.

Dear PLS
I'm the new girl in class. I don't fall behind or break rules, but I'm the smartest student in class! Every one of my teachers know me as "The smartest kid I know". How can I fit in like everyone else?
Lily, 9


I have to admit I'm really curious when a new student joins the class. What are they like? Will they want to be my friend? So my advice to Lily is to be herself and not to be afraid of being good at school. It's a good thing.

Also take advantage of your "new" status to ask friendly-seeming people for help. You could ask for help finding the art room or even where to get the best pizza in town. Hopefully, you'll feel more like you're fitting in as you develop new friendships.

Any other new girl advice for Lily?

Think pink!
Jemma

35 Comments:

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Because of my dad's job, I move at least once a year. It always seems like everybody always has "clicks" or their groups. I know how hard it is because I'm not extremely pretty or anything but there are some up sides to being the new kid. For example, everybody is always interested in you and wonders if you will be a good friend. You also get knew classes,teachers, and some other stuff so yeah. but i know its hard and i dont really have a lot of advice.

April 21, 2011 at 12:29 AM  
Anonymous Grace 12 said...

A lot of teachers know me as that, but my true friends know that I'm not a stuck up know it all and I'm an equal. Like Jemma said, try to make conversation, like, for instance, "What class is next?" or "What do we need for music class?" And when you make new friends, try and show that you're not a smart alek stuck up brat. Cuz that's how people envision smart people. Smart people are awesome! Just this world doesnt like them.

April 21, 2011 at 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Diana 11 said...

Hey, I know how you feel. I may not be "the new girl", but i know what it's like to be "the smartest kid in class". I have had to deal with that for 6 years...if anyone bugs you about being a nerd or something like that just ignore it, Be proud!

April 22, 2011 at 4:24 AM  
Anonymous Selene said...

hey don't worry, its awesome to be the smartest kid and the new kid. i was that last year, and now i have a ton of friends at school. some of them even joke that i know everyone on campus. all you have to do is be yourself! remember that everyone has more sides than one. you don't always have to be only the smart person. you could be the athelete, artist, musician, and so on. thats how i dealt with it and im one of the most popular kids in school.

April 22, 2011 at 5:30 PM  
Anonymous Kaci said...

i know how you feel, but trust me, being the new/smart kid can be awesome. i've won awards for being in the top 200 jr highers in the nation to score well enough to enter college on college entrance exams. i was the new kid last year at my jr. high. all the other kids had been friends since babies, so it was kinda hard at first to fit in. i was too worried about what others thought of me. i decided that i would just be myself. a year later, im one of the most popular kids at school. my only suggestions is to not be smart just to show off even though that is tempting and to show more sides of yourself besides the smart side. im sure that you are also bright, vivacious, creative, musical, athletic, and etc.

April 22, 2011 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't worry. since you are only nine years old, you don't have to face much trouble. just be your self. they will learn to adjust to you, but if if being "yourself" means being mean, then it is time to make a change. Its is ok, if you feel left out being the new girl, but don't let that interfere with what you like doing best.

Right now, it is ok if girls are in closed circles, talking to themselves. they will eventually fade out if you try talking to them. at first they might say a few things that make you feel bad, but try not to take it too seriously. talk to them individually and ask them out to do fun stuff. eventually you will become part of their group. but the hard part is your feelings. don't try to too eager all the time, but at the same time, not too bored at everything. since i think you are still in primary school, girls accept you easier. but later on in future, like grade 8 or above, there wil be something called cliques. try to avoid those, even though it is hard.

cliques are groups that have the same motive/job. for example, the "DRAMA CLUB CLIQUE" or the "CHEER LEADERS CLIQUE" or even the "SCIENCE GENIUS CLIQUE"

It is really important that you fit into all the cliques because even though you are popular or unpopular, you still want to make more friends with different talents :D

OMG, I AM SO SORRY FOR HAVING THE LONG LECTURE :)

April 23, 2011 at 6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't really ever have that problem. this isnt really advice but i just wanted to say, when someone gets a good grade, everyone else is like "oh cool! good job!" i think my school is a really nice school but in my school all of the kids are brats! i dont even have one friend.So in a public school you could be outstanding and wear cool clothes, or have a big holiday party and invite some people you would like to be friends with.

April 24, 2011 at 3:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

be nice

April 24, 2011 at 5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i knw being a new kid is hard believe me im going through it right nowww...and my advice is just get out there and make new friends talk to people and just be urself and dont worry about being the smartest kid..its no big deal... XD!!

April 25, 2011 at 8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, I moved from britain to CA, to seattle, to wisconsin, then to Maine. i know it's hard. But when you do move somewhere new, your teacher will most likley ask you to stand up in front of the class. say things most interesting about you. for me, i just have to talk. my accent really makes people want to get to know me. but dont tell people lies about yourself. that'll make it worse. because what if this is the place you stay? people wont trust you if you lied the first day you met them.

i hope i helped!

April 26, 2011 at 4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it shouldnt matter how smart you are to make friends. all you need to do is be yourself.what i do is a try to spend has much time as possible with people of different "cliques" that way i can never really be alone.

April 28, 2011 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

everyone is interested in the new kid so try to get to know kids and the will want to know about

April 28, 2011 at 5:47 PM  
Anonymous Bryn said...

just focus on the important stuff like relationships with your friends you dont need to be worrying about being smart. thats a good thing!

April 29, 2011 at 4:49 PM  
Anonymous tessa said...

like everybodys saying, lots of people have cliques-thats not always good though! its ok to have best friends, but its even better to not have a clique that u hang out with ALL THE TIME!!! thats because if u have an opened mind and have lots of friends and not just a few besties, there will be less fights beetween you and other peeps. what im saying is like if u have lots of friends, then when you go on 2 middle and high school-you problobly wont be sepperated from ALL your friends. maby some of them, but you will have so many you will most likely have some in like every class!!! im still working on trying this because me and by buds have fights sometimes [= by the way- everything i just wrote, my mom told ME. so give her the credit if this works!!!! hope u make lots of friends!!!

April 30, 2011 at 6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is kinda nice to be new. Everyone dies to know about you and you eventually become the most popular girl in class. that's what happened to me.

April 30, 2011 at 5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i got named teacher's pet for being able to sit still quietly and being on honor roll. and that was from my bff. I'm not flawless,you know

May 11, 2011 at 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its okay 2 be worried. i`ve been the new brainiac a bunch of times and i wont let it faze me. even if your smart, it doesn`t mean you can`t have fun. find a cool hobby to do, get a new look that really gives people the message that your a smart independant. you go girl!

May 19, 2011 at 10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. dont try to fit in when people see you acting like every one else theyll use u
2. Dont be in a clique just be yourself and people will wanna hang with u
3. if your in middle school be careful who you hang with and wht u say about other people cuz they could find out and tht will start drama


Keep ur head held high girl!!!!!!!!!!! :)

May 30, 2011 at 11:27 AM  
Anonymous Bryn said...

what are signs of a near first period?

June 1, 2011 at 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was the new girl 2 years ago and i was always the nerd. i felt very uncomfurtable and was always made fun of. keep youre head held high and dont be afraid to be you. never try to be someone else!people will like you more youll see

July 21, 2011 at 2:25 PM  
Anonymous crazy over cats said...

i have moved a lot and know how it feels but its not bad thing!you could make tons of friends, and get tons of a's and get a diploma for collage!
its not that bad

August 9, 2011 at 9:27 PM  
Anonymous dadazzlingstar said...

lily,
one question: are you suggesting that you change your personality just to fit in??
don't. take my word for it. i mean, everyone is different, that's what makes us great.if you don't get it, imagine this. there's some pretty popular girl in your class. you desperately want to be her friend, but she only accepts equally popular girls as her friends. don't give yourself a personality makeover just for that because she is not worth it. you should be friends with someone who accepts you just the way you are and that's that. if there's no one at your school like that, get a pen friend. just, be yourself and stay unique. that's how you get a real friend. for me, i mistook that advice, and now my life was falling apart , but metaphorically, i've only stuck it with glue but it's starting to fall down again. don't do what i did, you'll end up hurting yourself and those you care about, and that one mistake will be in your mind for ever!!!

August 11, 2011 at 5:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be happy it is awesome to be smart I dont always get good grades so be happy u do. And if u r new well just be ur self dont try to be someone ur not that is the worst thing u could do. Try to talk to people. I know how u feel. I moved 3 times in 1 year. So I had 2 go 2 3 different schools. It was really hard and know not everyone likes me but owell u cant make everyone like u and want to be ur friend its just how it works. Hope this helps.

August 25, 2011 at 6:18 PM  
Anonymous Zara said...

Hi Lily.
I had the same problem as you when I was younger, people called me a nerd, always said nasty things, never let me hang out with them and laughed every time I said something because I speak correctly. I wished I could have gotten stupider to make myself more wanted, but I didn't. Instead I embraced the nerdyness, studied up and stopped being afraid of something I can't control. Now people are jealous, because in my country, we take big exams at the age of fourteen, which I have just gotten the results for, and I can now do whatever career I want with top marks in my school. I'm sure you can achieve this too. Just be nice and friendly to everyone and they will have no excuse not to like you, and if they pick on you, they probably do it just to make you want to be one of them, because they don't like to think there is anyone better than them.
Hang in there :)

October 10, 2011 at 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Angie said...

When I went to a new school, I tried to make friends with the popular girls. Then, they made fun of me. Try making friends with the girls that are most like you. After I got ditched by the mean girls, I made a real friend. I think that's what you should do too! Well, maybe not the poular girls part...

October 19, 2011 at 8:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel the same way (nervous) because im in 6th grade now and i had 2 move 2 Detroit again and im not used 2 stayin here sooo after a while i meet some old friends wat a coincidence !!!!!!!!!!!!!so u should experince wat it is like and meet new friends!!!

October 23, 2011 at 11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nowadays people love the new girl they just wanna know about you hang in there i moved form Colorado to a new school and i fit in perfectly i hope you do to

November 17, 2011 at 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Taylor said...

don't worry i've been a new girl and every thing was perfect...

November 26, 2011 at 11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'm the smartest too and I can tell you that you don't have to hide your true personality! If you turn out like me, you'll be popular in your grade and people will accept you, truly! P.S. When my teacher brought up brains, several kids said they wanted mine! :P

December 29, 2011 at 7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like in Bruno Mars's song, find someone who thinks you're amazing, "Just The Way You Are!"

December 29, 2011 at 7:32 PM  
Anonymous t-swizzle said...

im super smart im n one of the top prep skools. i learned the greek alphabet in second grade. but guys think im either super cool or freaky weird for stuff like that. during the summer my parents send me to camps with average kids to broaden my horizins and stuff. dont get me wrong it cool and stuff but i dont fit in ya kno. what should i do this year

January 14, 2012 at 7:20 PM  
Anonymous Maribel the best said...

1) Just be yourself and don't try to be like others.your amazing just the way you are.
2)if people start bulling you because your smart or because your the new girl, then just dont try revenge, just be yourslef and ask for help on a teacher/adult.
3)Be calm be relaxed and be yourself just not try to be mean.
Think Pink! :)

January 23, 2012 at 7:48 PM  
Anonymous Sophie said...

I was a new girl once to, and trust me, I was as nervous as you are! I tried to make friends with people and when they see you try, they know your in desprate need for a friend! You also have to be yourself, stay calm, and dont freak out!
Sophie :)

January 29, 2012 at 2:05 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

Be super super super nice to everyone. Even if you don't feel like it, be outgoing. By this time next year, you'll have tons of friends.

March 24, 2012 at 6:09 PM  
Anonymous Cupcake-cutie said...

Just be yourself!

May 5, 2012 at 12:26 PM  

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