Question 18: Minnie's popularity problem

Minnie (great name, by the way) needs our help. Have you ever been accused of something that you weren't even doing. In this case, people are saying she's trying to be popular.

Dear PLS,
This guy hates me. He used to be like my best friend, but now he hates me because apparently I'm trying to be "popular". Another one of my friends turned on me because of that, and I'm not even trying to be popular!!! I hardly know what it means!!! I'm really not, but no one believes me. What am I doing that could be sending these "vibes"? What do I do?!?! 
Minnie, 12

This is a tough one. Often, you can't really help how popular you are. I know for sure that there are no magic tricks for becoming more popular. So it's probably just as tough to become less popular. Maybe it's that you're hanging around with popular friends. Or maybe you have lots of friends and so you seem more popular than other people.

I say as long as you're not being stuck up or unfriendly, just keep being your normal self. You could ask your two friends what specifically you are doing that is upsetting them. Remember, if you are popular, that's not a crime!

What else, girls? Have you ever been accused of trying to be popular?

Think pink!
Jemma

42 Comments:

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Anonymous Fairythunder said...

My advice is to talk to your friends and ask why they think you're trying to be popular. Also try hanging out with them more often so that they know that they still mean something to you.

December 2, 2011 at 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Heart Foli said...

Don't sweat about it. If they say it again either ignore them or ask them why they think... it only matters if you know your own direction.

December 2, 2011 at 10:25 PM  
Anonymous Geek Chic said...

Try to take time to make sure your friendship stays strong. They sound like there judging you.

December 3, 2011 at 12:14 AM  
Anonymous Charlotte said...

Well...my friend is currently in the exact same situation... What do you do when you're on the receiving end? She's ditched all her friends to be popular

December 3, 2011 at 9:56 AM  
Anonymous monkeyrose said...

I hang out with popular girls. I dont know if technically im considered " popular " I would still ask him.

December 3, 2011 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Minnie,
Just tell your friends how much u love them and that you would never leave them 4 the popular group. Invite them over to show that things r still the same.

Hope I helped
xoxo Question Gal

December 4, 2011 at 7:14 AM  
Anonymous Parker said...

I am considered popular. I am popular in a good way, though. I am friendly and silly, that's why people enjoy being around me. Even if you do not think you are trying to be popular, check your attitude around people, especially if you feel really strong tempered or confident. Hope this helps :)

December 5, 2011 at 7:51 PM  
Anonymous TweetyLuver said...

thts almost the same problem I am having :)

December 5, 2011 at 7:53 PM  
Anonymous 2cool said...

I think that being popular is over rated... All that matters is that your kind to your friends and that your always there 4 them. Thats my idea anyway. This may sound sill but i read a book on a girl who made a wish to be popular. it's called, "The Wish" By gail carson levine.

Hope this helps in any way!
~2cool~

December 6, 2011 at 11:52 AM  
Anonymous the wize 1!!! said...

be your self if you act different you can get into popularatey but keep your true self conntaned in your body.

December 6, 2011 at 4:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck with your friends,and good luck with your popularity problem with people not liking you very much.you seem like a great person.

December 6, 2011 at 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a book called "Lovelive"

December 6, 2011 at 6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Minnie,
Just tell them that you're not trying to be popular and ask why they think you are. Are you dressing differently or changing the way you do things or say things? That might be your problem, it's happened to me.

December 8, 2011 at 4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you not trying to be popular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 10, 2011 at 11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what Minnie? They are obviously jealous! They have noticed that you are being noticed and that you are being liked by others. Ignore them and surround yourself with friends that accept you for who you are. Trust me, they're out their. Is there a shy girl in your class who no body talks to? Talk to her, you never know your possible best friend could be right beside you!

December 11, 2011 at 7:43 PM  
Anonymous Polka Stripes said...

I say to just hang back for a while and ignore the people who think your "popular" when your not trying to be. They're not your true friends! If you really think they're dissing you just because of that, come out straight and blunt and say, "What's up? We haven't been hanging out for a while. Was it something I said or did?" and that should solve your problem. I hope this helps!

December 12, 2011 at 5:13 PM  
Anonymous smartie patootie said...

itz happened a ton of times. my bff was less popular cuz she's new, and she taps me on the shoulder a ton to look like she enjoys me, but when i turn around, she smirks and laughs at me. its happened since since she wanted CANDY, yes,CANDY and its horrible. all because of a piece of chocolate.and an awkward dream involving pageants

December 16, 2011 at 8:43 PM  
Anonymous t-swizzle said...

hey grl. haters will b haters. same stuff happens 2 me u just gotta b strong. k chica. <3

December 19, 2011 at 8:38 AM  
Anonymous HERE4UXOXO said...

heyyyy girlie....this has happened to me 2. You know what there saying is trying to be "popular" is I was trying to meet more people and be more socialy active. Let the haters be haters if they honestly care that much to talk about what you do...you are already better than them:) Let them think what they want to...and be proud of yourself. just whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO BE SOMEONE YOU AREN'T LIKE I DID. Well good luck girlie. I hope it gets better<3 XOXO

December 19, 2011 at 4:45 PM  
Anonymous ha said...

i was cyberbullied you got it good

December 22, 2011 at 10:23 AM  
Anonymous MiaRae said...

I think that your friends are just a little confused. right now is a time to find out who you are and what you're going to be. your friends may actually just be a little jealous of who you're becoming... i think you should talk to them and ask why it is they think you're trying to be popular, then you can change whatever it is or explain to them that that's not how it is_____hope this helped
-mia

December 23, 2011 at 6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talk it out with your friends. You need to know why they are turning you down. They must have an answer. If this doesn't work, good luck!

December 28, 2011 at 10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about what happened to u minnie, i am just going to give u this advice now. no.1 did u tell your teacher or parents? no.2 ignore them for a while and pretend to be upset no.3 they will come over to u and say sorry no.4 u decide whether or not your going 2 b bff's with them!!! hope this helps from curious :)

December 29, 2011 at 7:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm popular but I like it most of the time. But know I am getting glasses and I am too young to get comtacts! Please help me!
Scared to get glasses

December 29, 2011 at 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't worry this promblem is easy to fix. You friend might feel like you aren't being yourself and that you join the crowd to much. All you do is ask yourself these questions:
- Am I being true to myself?
- WHat makes a good friend?
- I am a good friend?
If you answer yes to question 1 and 2 then you doing your job. If this continues just get knew friends

December 29, 2011 at 2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Figure out can I handle being popular? Can I always feel like there are people looking up to me? Can I feel like people always want something from me? Can I be liked by everyone? If you answer any of these questions then your not trying to be popular you ALREADY are popular. Enjoy your popularity :)

January 5, 2012 at 7:39 PM  
Anonymous krazy4pink said...

i think u should tell ur 'friends' that if they think that you're turning into a popular and they don't like for that then say u dont want to be there friends and that the populars are your friends now

January 6, 2012 at 1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is being popular really worth it? When I start hanging out with the populars SOMETIMES (most of them are really nice), my other friends think that I'm turning into one of them! And when you don't hang out with anyone new, you'll always be in one social circle instead of expirementing with new people too!

January 6, 2012 at 9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

popularity isnt every thing in life you have more things to worry about like your grades if you are popular u might have to give up everything for your popularity

January 10, 2012 at 7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u now i went threw the same thing but i chose my real freinds over miss popularitty

January 10, 2012 at 7:14 PM  
Anonymous The situation Editer said...

Honestly, I've been the same situation but my friends never turned their backs on me because I never changed who I am. I think that's the whole mistake, maybe so you changed a bit or so :/?

January 14, 2012 at 3:53 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

@ anonymous December 29
How old r u
I am almost 11 1/2 and I just got contacts
There's really nothing to be scared of
People always say how pretty my glasses r

January 15, 2012 at 2:15 PM  
Anonymous bookworm said...

maybe you could ask them what exactly you are doing differently?

January 15, 2012 at 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This happened to me, a girl asked me and my friend if we wanted to be popular, we said yes (we've learned from this mistake)and so, we started hanging out with the popular girls, I accidently said something mean to my friend who went in to popularity with me, she got hurt by it and started putting me into denial, and said that I pulled her into becoming popular, and, eventually, turned her back on me. The popular girls loved me for it, as they hated my friend, one day, we were in the same area when Ally (my friend)deicided to start a fight (popular vs not so popular)and she said I either choose my popular friends, or her (made me feel like she was selfish)eventually, I decided popular and a fight was evolved around us. After the fight, she wasn't talking to me, so I asked one of my other friends to tell her I didn't mean to be mean to her, she came back with "i don't care, I hate you now" I was hurt, badly, eventually, after she got over it, and I wasn't hanging out with the popular people, she came and apologised and said she over-reacted, we became friends again (though I have to say they did rub off on me a little :))so bacicly, I'm saying to wait until your friends get over it, and then go up to them and have a talk with them, you'll be friends again soon enough. :D Hope I helped
Chloe

January 15, 2012 at 10:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi minnie,

Its best to talk face to face but if you cant write him a letter or an email. though sometimes it wont work so you have to wate. if he still mad he does not desive to be your friend. dont lie or fight back though. not that you would :)!

January 16, 2012 at 9:24 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

well if people start to be desrespectful than they don't decerve to be your boyfriend or friend. Make sure to respect yourself also!
Think Pink!

January 21, 2012 at 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try to tell them that you aren't trying to be popular.Or you could talk to an adult about it. I hope that they believe you! Good luck trying to fix your 2 friendships!

February 25, 2012 at 3:32 PM  
Anonymous krazee rockzzz said...

that's my problem too............im so popular and bcoz of that i hv fights with my frndz (almost regularly)

February 28, 2012 at 7:08 AM  
Anonymous ooooopz said...

i hate these kindda situations :(

February 28, 2012 at 7:12 AM  
Anonymous Duckie said...

I have a problem too. I hug my best friend Marissa, all the time, but she says she feels uncomfortable with it. I try not to do it too often or in public, but whenever I do hug her, she complains. I don't know what to do; everytime she tells me to stop, tears well up in my eyes and I have to fight as hard as I can not to cry. I know that if I actually did cry, she would understand and comfort me, but it would look weird and everyone might pick on us. I don't want Marissa to get hurt!

April 2, 2012 at 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Juliett said...

Don't worry Duckie, i hug my fiends all the time:) i think your just trying to be nice and showing her what a great friend you are. And if she's uncomfortable with it then just don't hug her that often because we all need some space right?

August 6, 2012 at 2:23 PM  
Anonymous kewlkatkitty said...

yeah, i love hugs and hugging but sometimes i need space. and thats about once or twice a week depending on my mood.

December 21, 2012 at 4:28 PM  

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