Is he a friend or a boyfriend?


Miss Independent has what she calls "the age-old question." Has this ever happened to you?

Dear PLS,
I actually sent a lot of questions but the one I would love to see answered is the age old question. My best guy friend likes me but I don't know if I like him because I like another guy but I have no idea who he likes. So the guy friend or the other guy?
Miss Independent



I personally like the idea of friends who could turn into boyfriends. Why? Because a friend is someone who knows you, likes you, and is nice to you. And hopefully you know him, like him, and are nice to him. That's a great starting place.

HOWEVER, it can feel odd for both of you. If it feels weird it may just mean that neither of you is ready for a romantic relationship. Stay friends. Maybe it will work out when you're older, or you might just be great friends. Not a bad ending either.

What else, Pink Locker girls?

Think pink!
Jemma




47 Comments:

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Anonymous Emma said...

If you really don't like him in that way, you'll probably break up with him quite quickly. It will get his hopes up and could ruin your friendship. From what you've said, I don't think you want that to happen. In saying that though, you may find you do actually like him in that way after giving it a try. My friend and her best guy friend were quite close but then he told her he had a crush on her after telling her that his crush was beautiful, kind and sweet. She really wanted to know who he liked and eventually he told her. He asked her out, she said yes and they went out. But only for two days, she broke up with him because it was too awkward and she knew she didn't like him in that way and he was really getting his hopes up and everything. She thought it was better to stop the relationship before it went too far. He still likes her, though he denies it, and they don't talk. It's just too awkward. It to end their friendship, but test doesn't neccesserily mean it'll ruin yours. Follow your heart, and your instincts. It might not seem like the right decision at the time, but if your heart and instincts tell you it's right then it is. Also don't be pressured by others. Good luck, I hope it all works out in the end <3 Emma

June 7, 2012 at 7:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would go with the person you truly like, but make sure he IS the one for you. Think about this. Would you rather have a guy who is good looking and mean, or nice and middle of the cuteness metor

June 7, 2012 at 12:37 PM  
Anonymous bunnygurl16 said...

Miss Independent,
Only accept him as a boyfriend if u are ready and want him. if not ,just keep him as a friend. if he is a good fiend im sure he will support ur decision, whatever it is. as for the other guy if you want to go with him then that is perfectly fine. it may be hard to choose but you could decide to say how it is or you could go with your friend and have your boyfriend as just a friend.

Either way i hope ur happy!

June 7, 2012 at 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My friend has a crush on a guy who I think likes me she knows and we've talked about it before. There's another guy I like who she also knows about and now I'm starting to like both of them but mostly just the other guy. What should I do?

June 7, 2012 at 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Carina said...

Dear Miss Independent,

I cannot say that I know this from past experience, for I have yet to have a boyfriend. (My mother will not let me have one until I am twenty years old!) However, I will say this: True love is meant to be. At this age, I do not presume that anyone is actually "in love," but they are at the budding stage of being in love. If he truly likes you, but you have a crush on somebody else, I suggest that you tell your guy friend gently that you have a crush on someone else...if you have not done so already. Hopefully, he will act maturely and remain friends with you despite what you told him. Now, you stated that you have no idea if you like your guy friend, but you do know that you have a crush on another guy. My recommendation is not to become involved in any relationships and wait until your mind is mentally prepared for the challenges that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship bring. I think you may need to wait until your decision is fully made about who you really like. These types of decisions take thought and time, so do not go rushing yourself to decide. Think thoughtfully and thoroughly.
I hope this helps! :D

June 8, 2012 at 10:24 PM  
Anonymous MissKiss?? said...

I have a question. I don't have a boyfriend and I've never kissed anyone, but I was wondering how do you exactly kiss someone. Like, what's the right way to kiss someone??

June 11, 2012 at 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Katelyn said...

I totally agree with you Carina! True love is meant to be. No one is actually "in love" unless they eventually get married. Like my cousin. She is about 27, and she got married a few years back. They are ACTUALLY in love. Also,if you have a boyfriend younger than when your in collage, it could just be for popularity. Remember, it's about what's inside- not what's out.

June 11, 2012 at 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Carina said...

Hi Katelyn,

Thank you so much for supporting me!

June 12, 2012 at 8:02 PM  
Anonymous MKisconfused said...

My birthdays in a few days. Theres this girl in my class, who no one likes. She chooses to hang out with me and my 2 bffs. We used to like her, now well.....ummm we kinda dont. Im having a sleepover for my birthday (as usual) should i invite 1 of my bffs? The one that ALWAYS spends the night? Or both of my bffs? and should i invite that girl! Please respond fast girls! ONLY A FEW DAYS TO DECIDE

June 13, 2012 at 4:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My friend (V) used to hang out with this girl (T). Then they kinda stopped hanging out. I asked the girl(V) if she still liked that girl, and she said not really. That other girl is also my friend(T). T keeps on thinking V still likes her, so how do I tell T that?

June 13, 2012 at 4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree with Jemma and everyone else. They pretty much said what is needed to say! But I will say this: Which one acts more natural/nicer to your friends? Possibly family members? To me, those 2 things are more important than a boyfriend. Which one do you think YOU will act more natural with? That also means whoever you wont change for because you think he'll like you better. They wont because they will like you for who you are, if they really liked you.

I hope I helped!
-Ella (^_^)/

June 13, 2012 at 4:52 PM  
Anonymous Katelyn said...

Your welcome Carina. These days, kids/people have boyfriends and girlfriends way to young.

June 13, 2012 at 10:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone. I would go with the guy friend because he knows you and trusts you he knows more things about you, and If you are worried about a guy not liking you, you wouldnt have to worry about him not liking you.

June 16, 2012 at 6:43 PM  
Anonymous Emma said...

I've often thought that but have never actually asked it on here. I mean like you, I have no boyfriend but still am curious. Can anyone help us? <3 Emma

June 19, 2012 at 8:44 AM  
Anonymous Emma said...

I totally agree. People now are just going out with people to be 'cool'. I mean a 2 day boyfriend one week and a 3 day boyfriend the next is just sad. Especially when people say they're in love when they're 11 years old! <3 Emma

June 19, 2012 at 8:47 AM  
Anonymous Isabella said...

I totally agree. I have had this "crush" which I don't even if I should say that he is a good friend and he seems like he like's me but I'm not sure.

June 19, 2012 at 10:28 PM  
Anonymous guitargurl said...

True!! I know preschoolers who are "dating"! Seriously wow!!

June 19, 2012 at 11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um hey guys. I hav liked the same guy for a whole year. He is by far my best guy friend. His best friend (who shares the same name with him) is obsessed with me. What should I do?! :L

June 20, 2012 at 9:36 PM  
Anonymous Miss Independent said...

Thanks everybody for giving comments. Just so you know I am COMPLETELY over the guy I had a crush on. My best guy friend is still my best guy friend the thing I should have said was that my best guy friend already knew I had crush on somebody else(we tell each other like everything). He was actually completely supportive of me when I had a crush on the other guy which is one of the reasons he is my best guy friend. So all is well that ends well

June 24, 2012 at 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Catrina and Amber said...

I still like a boy.. But I am not sure if he likes me. If he does, then he is too shy to tell me.. Girls can asked boys out too. Can't they? So why don't you ask if he wants to date you. Too scared? Ask a friend to do it for you. Trust me hun, boys can't take a no for an answer.. ONLY IFF you don't annoy them.

July 11, 2012 at 3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would pick the boy you like more, but trait-wise, meaning not just because he's cute but because he is nice, funny, and charismatic. You can't always please everyone, so if the guy who likes you isn't you're type yet he asks you out, don't be afraid to say, "No, thanks!"

July 12, 2012 at 12:43 PM  
Anonymous Kennedy said...

I met a guy last year in sixth grade. His name is Justin. He is dating already but he's hot, funny, and very social. His gf is one of my good friends. I don't really know if he likes me like a girlfriend or not. He drank of my water bottle after I did. He has been willing to get detentions if it means being able to talk with me in all of our classes. He tells me not to wear makeup bcuz I don't need it. And he seemed shocked and frusterated when his best guy friend asked me out. And he only sits with me, and his guy friends in library. Mostly bcuz he can trust me. Bcuz he plays on his iPod @ library and I class. :) and we txted in class bcuz a girl wuzin between us and passing notes wuz too hard cuz the other girl tries to read them. I loved him before I npknew his name.

July 21, 2012 at 1:58 AM  
Anonymous Kennedy said...

Knew his name. Then my other guy BFF asked me if we were dating like three times. Only 1 friend knows I like him. He might know but idk. I like him so much. I'm actually having a pool party in August and he and my other guy BFF Ryan were my 1st ppl who came to mind. I <3 him so much. BUT HE'S TAKEN! I have his #! He never responds to anyone but his girlfriend! UGHHHHHHH!!!!!! He makes me so mad but I love him soooooooo much <3 he's so fun to hang out with. And he knows so much about me. And I've been to his house. I luv him! What do I do? Ask him out or let it go? It's been a year.

July 21, 2012 at 2:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it depends on the way he reacts to you for example:he blushes around you that means he likes you or if he treats you like another one of the guys then that's the friend zone ,think about it awhile ok

July 21, 2012 at 8:32 PM  
Anonymous Justin's Secret Admirer said...

The other Justin. And I like Evan too. Evan moved to Arizona tho. At least we thinks so. But Ryan doesn't like either Justin's cuz they r obnoxious and annoying. But so am I so we get along fantastically. :) I love Justin I just need the nerves to ask him out. But he's dating my friend Kennedy. Yes. Two Kennedy's here. Idk. Maybe I'll ask him out and if he says no then play it off like it wuz a dare. Idk. If he says yes...then I will be the happiest girl alive. He is so sweet. And he won't respond to anyone but his current girlfriend. So.. I like him so much but I can never get the nerves to just ask him. He obviously won't make the first move. This suck. But I know he could. He obviously started dating Kennedy somehow. Idk. HELP!!!!

July 22, 2012 at 12:27 AM  
Anonymous Justin's Secret Admirer: me, Kennedy said...

And he uses me as an example on how to flirt and if I laugh at his jokes...and if I laugh at Evans. Bcuz I laugh at everything. So I don't laugh at a joke. It seriously sucks. :) help me someone. Please. Seriously. I don't want to bet hegira in high school who hasn't had a boyfriend since preschool.

July 22, 2012 at 12:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

miss independent,
i feel u.i had the exact question once. i say forget about them both and get a new guy girlie!!
from,

meganak47

July 22, 2012 at 6:04 PM  
Anonymous cutie23 said...

he can't be until you like him back.

July 24, 2012 at 12:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does he like me?
There's a guy who ALWAYS flirts with me. We tickle each other and giggle in class. The problem is, he always flirts with other girls. Recently, we went on a trip and he was so nice! We always sat near each other [courtesy of my friend crushing on his friend] and we always talked. Once he even gave me his jacket cause I was cold! I dont know if he likes me though... Everyone says he flirts a lot but he is kind of shy and doesn't really realize it... And recently, I tried to chat with him and I said Hi(: but he just logged off after seeing it. I felt terrible and embarrased. Help!

July 27, 2012 at 4:58 AM  
Anonymous kendo said...

Hi it's kendo. Kennedy... Well still don't kno what to do. Cuz my BFF Kennedy, yes two Kennedy's, dating the guy I like already. I'm currently "in a pickle" bcuz she dating him and I don't want him to like cheat on her. She's my BFF. But so is he. I love him. Idk what to do. Help!

July 29, 2012 at 1:06 AM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Hey, I too had a best guy friend who eventually turned into a boy friend during the end to 4th grade, then when our classes got shuffled, he got into another class and me into another, so whenever he sees me or I see him or we bothe end up crashing in the hallway, it is a really awkward situation

August 2, 2012 at 4:04 AM  
Anonymous Kendo said...

Hey guys kendo here. Um well. I almost asked Justin out today. And my competition dance tryouts were today too. And idk if I can ask him out. Cuz his BFF might get mad at me cuz I asked Justin out and I rejected him. Ugh. Life is hard l:^ {

August 9, 2012 at 10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well kendo
ask urself on a scale from one to ten how much do u want to ask justin out! If u decide tat it is between 7-10 then go for it girl!! But if its between 4-6 give it alittle more time! But if u decide less than 4 dont even bother wit him!
but if ur still not shure do the same thing but this time tink how good he treats u!! Wat i mean is: is it aucquard around him?, is he himself around u? Or is it just a great laugh around him?
megan

August 10, 2012 at 5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello girls, I have a crush who used to like me in the second grade I liked liked him too but I thought that he likes my best friend and my best friend used too like him, now I'm in fifth grade and I still like him, I heard that he likes me but he won't confess, when I asked him he told me that he only liked me for a short time long before,so should I still like him?

August 14, 2012 at 6:21 AM  
Anonymous Mia said...

Hi girls, I have a crush (I think) thats my best guy-friend, and I like but I don't know if he likes me. what can I do? From Mia x

August 18, 2012 at 12:25 PM  
Anonymous Laura said...

Hi I have a friend that's a guy and his sister think I have a crush on him which I do should I tell

Thanks for reading

Laura

August 20, 2012 at 4:27 AM  
Anonymous Laura said...

Hi guys me again I told this guy I liked him and we finally ask me out should I say yes or no I like him and all but am I to young to have a boyfriend

August 20, 2012 at 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Laura said...

@Laura
Congrats, to you.My best advice would be if you've got him,don't let him go.

<3 Laura
Think Pink!

August 21, 2012 at 7:49 AM  
Anonymous Laura said...

Thank you Laura

August 23, 2012 at 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Go with ur friend because then he will keep u happy, well if ur happy around him then go with ur friend that's what I did and now I'm more happy than I was with my crush (cuz he soon developed a crush on me)

August 28, 2012 at 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't do it, because it's the worst thing ever when you break up. been there, done that. 3 years, best friend in the world...don't do it

August 29, 2012 at 6:53 PM  
Anonymous Kennedy said...

Hey askin him out the next time they break up. He's my best guy friend and the only thing I'm nervous about is that we will break up and never b the same.

September 1, 2012 at 12:23 AM  
Anonymous Laura said...

Dear Anonymous

My best advise is If you ever break up say can we still be friend that what I did and then we ended up getting back together

September 13, 2012 at 2:51 PM  
Anonymous Millie said...

Well I personly think that you should just stay friends with the guy and if u end up at different schools u should keep in touch. Then when ur older (like 14 or 15) u can ask him out. If u go too fast you'll ruin the relationship u have with him and then u never be able to ask him out

Keep Cool!
Millie

September 18, 2012 at 8:19 AM  
Anonymous Hari said...

I've been best friends with this guy since we were little kids, but we've gone off to different secondary school (middle school in america). We kept in contact, and every saturday we would meet up. But all of a sudden he calls our meet-ups 'dates' and starts acting like we are going out and i have no idea what to do. I have NO feelings for him as a boyfriend and I would hate to think I was leading him on, so half of me says to tell him that were just mates. But the other half says that would be waaayyy to awkward and I wouldnt want to ruin our friendship over it. What should I do?

September 24, 2012 at 3:30 PM  
Anonymous MeMe said...

Hari:

Tell him gently at your next Saturday meet that you like him just as a friend but you don't want it to ruin your friendship. He will probably be upset or mad at first, but I think that then he will cool off, and you guys can keep being friends!

September 28, 2012 at 1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All my friends have boyfriends but I've never had one and there making fun of me. I kinda like this guy but I'm like sooooo shy. Please help me!!!

October 5, 2012 at 1:52 AM  

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