MK's friend acts too grown up and flirty

We talk a lot about how we all go through the body changes of puberty on different schedules. But we haven't talked much about how we go at our own pace through the emotional stuff, too. Some people rush things a little bit. MK thinks her friend is one of them.

Dear PLS,
Help! I have a friend whos 12 but acts like shes 15! She flirts WAY to much, dresses like a teen, and keeps saying "I wish I had a boyfriend". Any advice?
MK

I think MK's friend treats every day a little like it's Halloween. She's trying on the clothes and acting like an older teen (or how she imagines a teen acts), but she isn't one yet. It makes sense if you think about it. She knows she's getting older and changes are coming, so she's having her own dress rehearsal.

Of course, MK should be on the lookout if her friend is doing anything risky. But MK also might ask herself why it bothers her? Maybe she's not ready for that stuff, like flirting, and that's perfectly OK. No one likes feeling dragged into something. Maybe she doesn't like being with her friend when she's chatting up the boys. Or maybe she's just tired of hearing her friend's blah-blah about not having a boyfriend.

MK, why not tell your friend how you feel? In a kind way, of course. And do let her know if she's pulling you in a direction you don't want to go in. Remind her of the stuff you enjoy doing with her and maybe she'll remember how much fun it was, too.

Anything else, girls? Has this ever happened to you?

Think pink!
Jemma





38 Comments:

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah jems right u all!

June 16, 2012 at 1:50 AM  
Anonymous Madi believes in you said...

Just tell your friend that you think she's being a bit inappropriate, whatever you do, do NOT change to fit in with her!

June 16, 2012 at 9:07 AM  
Anonymous Twigs said...

MK's friend just wants to be a teen. She's like my little sister, she trys to act grownup even tho she's not. MK just ask ur friend y she wants to be a teen so bad.

June 16, 2012 at 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Love Pink said...

My "bff" is totally backstabbing me. She's hanging out with a bad girl who nobody really likes. I dont want our friendship to be over, but I'm not sure I can deal with her ignoring me whenever she's around the other girl. The mean girl is changing her and I don't want to tell her to be friends with but she doesn't realize that it's happening. The mean girl is even mean to my friend and she gets upset by it but then goes right back to her. It's like shes been brainwashed and changed into a total different person and I don't like it. As I said before I don't want to tell her what to do but I feel like I should do something! What should I do??

June 16, 2012 at 4:27 PM  
Anonymous Kelsey said...

@Love Pink
I think your friend is one of those people who wants to fit in with everyone she meets. Maybe when she met the "bad girl" she thought that her style was cool in a way. Yes, you are right, you can't tell her who her friends are. If you're feeling left out, ask your friennd if she wants to hang out someday. If it still bothers you, tell your friend "Hey, you know... You've been spending a lot of time with so and so lately, can you please remember that I'm your friend too?" I hope I helped!!

June 16, 2012 at 9:30 PM  
Anonymous MK said...

Thanks Jemma! The advice really helps.

June 16, 2012 at 10:33 PM  
Anonymous lalala said...

My friend flirts with way too many guys, i think she has a new crush every week!

but me, im too shy to talk to guys...

June 17, 2012 at 1:09 AM  
Anonymous Grace said...

@LovePink
The exact same thing happened to me. In 6th grade, my 'bff' got a boyfriend and everything changed. She started hanging out with other people, and she wasn't even herself. I would say, just give it time. Things didn't get better with my friend until about two weeks ago and I just finished 7th grade. Sometimes talking to her would work, and that's what my other friend and I did. We let her know how we've been feeling and it sort of did open her eyes. Also, if you feel yourself gravitating towards a different group of friends, like I did, go ahead and do it. I felt very loyal to my friend, but I had no friends while she was still with her boyfriend. HOPE I HELPED!!!:)

June 17, 2012 at 9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM! My friend is like that and everyone seems to praise her.

June 17, 2012 at 4:21 PM  
Anonymous Chocaholic. said...

@anonymous,
high five, sis! i dunno y people praise whatever-they-wanna-call-themselves cus they just stir trouble. literally.

June 18, 2012 at 5:03 PM  
Anonymous Emma said...

Whatever you do MK, keep being yourself! Don't change just to be like her. When you feel ready to act the way she is, then act like your older, but for now, act like a kid. You'll regret it later, trust me. <3 Emma P.S. There are a group of girls at my school who are really popular with the boys and stuff. They all have acted like 15 year olds since they were about 10. Don't be like them. (trust me they're 20 times worse than your friend)

June 19, 2012 at 8:15 AM  
Anonymous Isabella said...

Boyfriend, Friend, or Crush for a 6th grader?

June 19, 2012 at 10:25 PM  
Anonymous Love Pink said...

Believe me, this girl doesn't want 2 "fit in" with anyone. She's friends with people she likes and not friends with people she hates or doesn't like. I don't really feel left out all of the time I just don't like hanging out with the bad girl cuz she's a bad influence and I don't want to have any part of that. But, I also am the kind of person who hates standing up to others cuz I don't want to hurt their feelings but this girl won't hide anything so if she thinks that we shouldn't b friends then she will just tell me so. I Try getting her to hang out with other girls but it never really works. She always drifts back to the bad girl. Any other advice??


P.S. Thx SOOO much Kelsey and Grace!!

June 20, 2012 at 6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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June 21, 2012 at 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Same has been happening with me and my friends. We used to all have something in common. We loved being silly and playing with eachother. But these days, my friends are only talking about crushes, school dances (if we get them in middle school) and related things. Did I mention that we are only in 5th grade?

June 21, 2012 at 5:40 PM  
Anonymous Cutiecake123 said...

AHHHH! I'm going into grade seven and I'm kinda scared. I don't wanna use changing rooms!

June 24, 2012 at 1:17 PM  
Anonymous SilverWristband said...

Ugh. Aren't girls who act like that just annoying? No offense or anything. There are two girls in my grade who THINK they are so popular because they're friends with so many people and little kids just love them. They ARE popular. But they act way older than their age. They flirt constantly but all they get is hate from the guys. It's weird. They go up to the little kids and like ask for hugs. As for me, little kids come up to me and ask for hugs. Those girls are my friends but it's just perfectly disgusting to see them go around all flirty and with that "I'm so popular and I know it so if you don't say hi back, I'll not give u a hug." how gross. I don't know what to do? Ignore her? Not mind her? ITS HARD TO NOT NOTICE HER

June 24, 2012 at 3:23 PM  
Anonymous Mere said...

MK,
That must be very annoying for you, having a friend that grows up so fast, too fast for you. What you should do is still be nice to her, but confront her about what she does that annoys you. But first, think, "why does this annoy me" and "why does that annoy me". Most likely, your friend is just going through a phase and she will get out of it soon. If not, just love your friend as she is, or you could choose to dump her. But think, if you were changing and wanted something your friend didn't want, would you appreciate if your friend dumped for now reason, just that she didn't like some things about you? Just think.

June 25, 2012 at 3:34 PM  
Anonymous Lexi said...

I have a freind like this and its really annoying. SHe wants tight shirts so that boys can look at her boobs and is only going after guys that are like 16. I now that this is MK"S problem, but it wouild be awesome if i could get a little help. BTW, were only 11

June 27, 2012 at 11:20 PM  
Anonymous Directioner said...

Isabelle I am in grade six to, and I have tons of guys that are just friends, if it is a crush u have to rlly like him, a boyfriend is someone that will ask u out and that u r super close to.

June 28, 2012 at 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

@lovepink
@grace

I totally agree. When my bff got a boy friend, I realized that she was going away from me and that she had a boyfriend. So i comfortingly asked her if there was anything like that. She started to be mean and rude and said that" Just keep away from my personal life and if you don't have a boyfriend, don't try to snatch away mine". After that day I never spoke to her and I really felt very bad that day

June 29, 2012 at 1:23 PM  
Anonymous @Cutiecake123 said...

aww! i felt like that too, u no? but its actually not that bad... and u probly will get seperate changin rooms or somthing...hav fun though, 7th year is always best!

July 4, 2012 at 1:51 AM  
Anonymous rednpnk said...

i think you should tell to not grow up so fast but tell her dont take the wrong way alot of girls do that i had the same proplem. i told my friend no to act to grown becase some might think she is oler than she is and meet a guy who is wak to old for her so good luck it worked for me but who knows

July 12, 2012 at 12:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever happens, make sure you have friends with the other girls, incase your BFF and u drift away....

July 12, 2012 at 11:24 AM  
Anonymous Juliett said...

FRIDAY THE 13!!! i guess now i have to avoid the black cat that lives next door :S

July 13, 2012 at 12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My friend is the same way. She is 12 and has had 2 boyfriends in one year and made out with both of them while going totheir house and other places, if you do not want this don't follow your friend.

July 14, 2012 at 1:42 AM  
Anonymous Juliett said...

I know right, last year there was this boy named brain and he had this girlfriend, and they always used to make out in front of everybody the teachers didn't even notice and it was gross i mean nobody needs to see that.
BTW, they were 12.

July 14, 2012 at 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In fourth grade there was a girl who had a boyfriend! They never kissed but they held hands in class and talked in private on the recess yard. The teacher did not even notice. Then something happened and in 5th grade they hated each others guts. In my opinion you should be at least in 6th grade 2 have a boyfriend, but mostly every1 i know isn't allowed 2 date untill they r 16.

July 15, 2012 at 9:23 PM  
Anonymous Skylar said...

There was a lot of dating in fourth and fifth grade at my school. They would hold hands, pass love notes during class, and flirt and coo and go to each others houses. Some were even rumored to kiss! It was real awkward, but a lot of my friends also turned wacko and crazy about boys, and real sullen when they got " dumped." it was pretty weird

July 19, 2012 at 5:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

think about it. does it affect you? why does it bother you? if thats the way she wants to act and thats her showing her true feathers. maybe you'll be like me. 15-year-old who still acts like she's 8. Just be yourself around her and if you to are true to each other you'll she'll grow into it and so will you. just remember that your truest friends will stand by you and let you be yourself.YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME!!!:)
-forever charred

July 23, 2012 at 12:05 AM  
Anonymous cutie23 said...

i know how it feels, mk, and i am so sorry. just tell her how you feel about her acting like that. tell her that it bothers you. if that dosn't work, DO NOT follow in her steps. good luck!

July 23, 2012 at 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Juliett said...

I agree with cutie23, Don't follow her steps. She is just making the wrong choices, and eventually, she will see that:)

July 27, 2012 at 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Maigan said...

Okay first of all dont get mad at here. Its normal. She probably is in puberty and likes guys

August 7, 2012 at 6:18 PM  
Anonymous maigan said...

your friend problay hit puberty already so she likes boys, you dont. Thats normal! ( i sound like my teacher giving us the talk) And if your feeling left out can you imagine how she feels having crushes on boys and no one to talk to. So i think you should listen to her and she should listen to you see how you feel. Opposites attract!! hope this helps

August 8, 2012 at 1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HELP!!!!
My friend used hang out with me all the time but now she hardly hangs out with me at all! At first I thought she just wanted to hang around with different people but now I hardly see her at all. It just really upsets me cuz I tried to talk to her about but she didn't seem to get the point and now I have no-one to hang out with in my class (we have a very small class of 16 students with 5 boys! and eleven girls including me)
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

August 14, 2012 at 6:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's how my little sister is . All u need to do is ask why she is being that way;)

August 18, 2012 at 10:04 AM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

to annonomous august 14: well, i would call her up or text her or meet her at the park,or maybe (if u girlz have one) talk on FaceBook. say it calmy and nicely so it doesnt turn into a fight u regret. ask "I havent seen you in a while! i miss you. can we hang out sometime???" if she sais something like no im mad at you (which i hope she doesnt) say "why? i promise im not acting, but can u please tell me why u r mad at me?" then try and work it out. i really hope i help you.

August 27, 2012 at 11:08 PM  
Anonymous ladyadorable101 said...

@MK You should just tell your friend how you feel(in a non-mean way) and hopefully shell past the test of being a true friend. Meaning she would listen to you and try to improve her behavior so that she doesnt get any unwanted attention. If that doesnt work, you should bring up the matter to her parents and maybe they could talk to her about without mentioning you. Then she would need to change her behavior. It doesnt make you mean or a snitch because you told. It just makes you a really great friend. I hope I helped.
-ladyadorable101

September 3, 2012 at 3:07 PM  

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