Elizabeth and the bra wars

All you have to do is look at our Back to School Bras post to see that bras are a BIG issue.


Often, girls want to know how to talk to their mom about getting a bra, then about getting different kinds of bras ("real" bras, cup bras etc.), and about getting a bigger bra when they've grown out of the ones they have.

But Elizabeth has a different issue:

Dear PLS,
Every one in my grade wears bras (the girls) but me and they say " you gotta start wearing them' but I don't think I do,what do I do??
Elizabeth, 12

Elizabeth is right. You don't have to wear a bra. There's no rule like by the time you're 12, you must wear a bra. Girls make this decision based on what feels comfortable for them. They might want one right away to fit in with friends. Or they might want to wait until their breasts grow. They may never like bras that much and find other solutions, like sports bras or camis. And some grown up women just don't wear them at all. As my mom likes to say, "Whatever suits!"

What do you think, Pink Locker Girls? What's your opinion? And how can Elizabeth feel OK about her choice not to wear a bra now?

More about bras HERE:

Breasts and Bras

Think pink!
Jemma


80 Comments:

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Anonymous Elanajane said...

I think you should wear a bra when u feel you r ready too! Dont listen to other people listen to yourself. If they keep nagging or bothering you tell them to stop or talk to your mom about. She will be able to help. Try training bras also make sure you get one you're comfortable with! Don't listen to those girls, get a bra when you're ready too get a bra!
Good luck :)

August 30, 2012 at 9:05 AM  
Anonymous fdsa said...

You could say, "I want to preserve my childhood, I don't want to start wearing uncomfortable things!"

August 30, 2012 at 9:36 AM  
Anonymous Perfectly Pinkish! said...

Hm, I agree with jemma, if you don't have breast. Be honest with yourself. If you do, it would be a good idea just to wear undershirts if you don't wanna wear a bra. Good luck!

August 30, 2012 at 10:23 AM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

Yeah. It is perfectly fine to not want to wear a bra. I have seen grown women that don't wear a bra. Its completely your choice. Do not let friends influence you into doing things that you do not want to do.

August 30, 2012 at 11:04 AM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

ok just tell ur friends to show them the rule book that says u have to wear a bra. chances are...theyll be stuck. the wont know what to say. or say u dontwant to. i would strt wearing tank tops with built in shelf bras. that way ur wearing a bra-but its a tanktop!

August 30, 2012 at 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wear bras when u are ready take your time

August 30, 2012 at 3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jemma is totally right. Wear a bra when u think its right, not cuz some girls r telling u 2.

- YOLO

August 30, 2012 at 4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wear a bra and so do most of my friend that's dose not mean u have to wear one when u are ready wear one

August 31, 2012 at 6:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think you need a bra? Some girls feel wierd wearing one and are scared. There is nothing to be afraid of! If you feel like you've hit puberty ask. I know it's slightly scary but it's worth it!

August 31, 2012 at 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with Born2Bme....u shud wear a bra if u want to or r ready to have one and u dont have to listen to them....if they still bother u then tell them to stop or tell ur mom.

hope i helped ;-)

August 31, 2012 at 8:04 PM  
Anonymous Lillypilly said...

If you don't feel ready, then you don't have to. It isn't a law to wear a bra.
There are lots of alternatives though if you do feel ready: Training bras, sports bras, tank tops with built in bras etc. I'm sure that when you feel ready you can find one that suits you!
Good luck :)

August 31, 2012 at 9:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comfort is key when you feel you are ready then you brgin to wear it

September 1, 2012 at 7:06 AM  
Anonymous Elanajane said...

My breast have Been really hurting lately! Ecspecially my nipples they really hurt when I touch them. I only have 30-32a cup bras so my breasts are small and I'm only 12. Are these breast buds? Are your breasts supposed to hurt like that? Please help!

September 1, 2012 at 7:27 AM  
Anonymous helpme!iamdesperateformyperiod! said...

@Elanajane

I have the same problem! It started when I was 10 and I am now 11. It at least starts to get better as you grow.

September 1, 2012 at 8:35 AM  
Anonymous *<:) said...

Lol my name is a birthday hat face! BECAUSE MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS MONTH! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEPTEMBER 19TH!

September 1, 2012 at 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know your training bras too small when you can see through it. Hope i helped!!! :)

-Pinky

September 1, 2012 at 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

LOL mine is September 29th!!!!!!!! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

September 2, 2012 at 12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey girl!
Don't let anyone tell what to do. You're your own person and you make decisions for yourself. Start wearing a bra when you feel is the right time. When the time comes, look for a bra that is comfortable and suits your stage. It's always good to look at a trainers bra or even a sports as your first bra.

Remember, it's your decision, not anyone else's!

September 2, 2012 at 7:43 AM  
Anonymous hee hee said...

@ pinky

Thanks! I still sometimes wear a training bra even though I fit into a cupped bra. It's more comfortable.

September 2, 2012 at 10:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry this is off topic, but I seem to feel uncomfortable when I run. Even though I wear a sports bra when running a lot, my stomach seems to bounce around and I feel chunky when I run. It sounds weird, but can someone give suggestions?

September 2, 2012 at 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anya said...

Okay, girls, I have a problem. I don't like my old friends very much because all we do is talk about people and they aren't very good friends. I want to move into this other group of friends where I have some friends, but I don't know how. I'm shy and I don't know how to invite them to like sleepovers or anything. So, please please help!!

September 2, 2012 at 10:12 AM  
Anonymous Kayleah aka cuti2 said...

My training bras are too smaall and I only have one padded bra. back to the main idea. Those girls just think that wearing a bra makes you cooler. I go through the same thing at my school. They'll become mature soon dont worry the dont govern your life.Just be you.

September 2, 2012 at 7:19 PM  
Anonymous Icygirl:) said...

@ Anya: You should talk to your old friends, then tell them that you think that you want to meet new people. tell them that your still friends, but you want new ones. Dont worry! All of this will turn out fine.
@ Anonymous that posted September 2 2012 at 10:05 am: Its not weird. I used to feel that way all the time! Its really not bouncing around. People usually notice little things about them selves, but in reality no one else notices them. So just continue running and enjoy yourself! :D

September 2, 2012 at 11:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@ Icygirl:)
Thanks for the help!

@ Anya
You could start to sit with them at lunch or another period during the day. Ask them friendly questions like what's your fav color? Or can I be in your friend group too? Hope I helped!

September 3, 2012 at 9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you don't think you need bras, you don't! Although it may be more comfortable with them the decision is totally up to you. If you want you can even try camisoles. They're like bras, only not as padded and you can hardly feel them.

September 3, 2012 at 1:12 PM  
Anonymous PeriodenFlicka said...

If you want one get one. Its up to you!

September 3, 2012 at 1:52 PM  
Anonymous periodenFlicka said...

How do you know if your bra fits? I just got one but I don't know if it is too big or too small. It may even be the perfect size. Any advice?

September 3, 2012 at 3:52 PM  
Anonymous superbunny said...

they have no right to tell you when you should wear bras.just wear what feels comfortable. i still wear the sports bras i started out with because they'e comfy.

God bless you guys!!!!!

September 3, 2012 at 7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I only have training bras and my boobs are pretty big.... and you can see through all my training bras, and my sport bras!, but my mom wont even let me get ones with a little little bit of padding!! I need help!! I get mine from walmart, and when we go there to get my next bras when i try them on im gonna tell her that u can see through them i hope it works!! Please help!, and sorry this was so long!

September 3, 2012 at 9:57 PM  
Anonymous The Ultimate Cupcake said...

Bras can be pretty embarrassing to talk about.

September 4, 2012 at 5:32 PM  
Anonymous PeriodenFlicka said...

@Anonymous I think your mom will understand. Hope everything goes well! And if you cant get padded bras then try wearing a tank top under your clothes for a little extra protection.

September 4, 2012 at 5:39 PM  
Anonymous Cheeseburger, side o' fries said...

No no no no no! If you don't think you have to, DON'T. This isn't their body, it's YOURS. No one can make decisions for you when it concerns your breasts.

September 4, 2012 at 5:53 PM  
Anonymous layladolphin said...


elizbeth-it is your decison to wear a bra or
not.If your boobs are to big wear a tank top

anonymous september,3-try to make a compromise like when can you get a padded bra and hopefully she would let you get at least a larger bra

periodflicka-you could ask awomen in your famil y to measure you and copare to your bra

September 6, 2012 at 4:33 PM  
Anonymous BerrySorbet said...

Elizabeth,I think you need to search more comfortable bras! Well,Everyone need a super-duper perfect bra,right? Anyway,wish you good luck! :)

September 7, 2012 at 4:29 AM  
Anonymous Bats in the belfry said...

Peer pressure is hard to resist, so if you don't want nor need a bra at this stage in your life, then don't get one. But if your friends are telling you this because they can see your nipples or if you are appearing to be uncomfortable in gym to them than they are just giving you friendly advice. Hope I helped!
Xoxo
:)

September 7, 2012 at 5:38 PM  
Anonymous Meelilly said...

I have the SAME problem!!

September 9, 2012 at 7:28 PM  
Anonymous Jacob .G. said...

Hi...I'm a guy and... What's period? It's all over this website.

September 10, 2012 at 6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THERE'S A BOY ON THIS WEBSITE. dude this is for girls. Its about puberty.

September 10, 2012 at 7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get off this website! Girls only!

September 10, 2012 at 11:04 PM  
Anonymous Cheeseburger, side o' fries said...

Another thing, the puberty section is off to the left column fourth one down. Click on All About Menstruation. That should get you ALL the answers you need and why there is this whole website dedicated to it.

September 11, 2012 at 3:55 PM  
Anonymous Cheeseburger, side o' fries said...

Go to kids health website! Follow instructions above.

September 11, 2012 at 6:34 PM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

LOL!!!

September 11, 2012 at 8:13 PM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

This is only for girls!!!!

September 11, 2012 at 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

jacob .G.

its the dot at the end of the sentence

September 13, 2012 at 7:52 AM  
Anonymous MarlowtheGreat said...

Okay, so I started wearing bras in middle school even though I don't really need to, but it helps you feel secure (especially if you have to change in front of everyone in gym) and it just kinda makes you feel more protected. You shouldn't if you don't care much though, just if you start to feel exposed. :) Hope this helps

September 13, 2012 at 4:00 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

Agreed Born2Beme.
(haha)

September 14, 2012 at 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, I actually think this guy should know. He'll learn anyways. Go to kids health, click on puberty, girls questions, and period. A period is when an egg travels through a passage in a girls body and comes out into an area below your stoumach. If a sperm hasn't fertalized it, the tissue to help pad the egg which will grow into a baby will disolve into blood and come out.

September 14, 2012 at 6:17 PM  
Anonymous Born2Bme age 10 said...

thanks @katelynla


:D i got that cuz my sister's friend's little sister when my sisters friend was like 12 and her little sister was i would say about 9, came to her big sis and said whats a period? and my sis's friend said "the dot at the end of a sentence...." then her lil sis says "but mommy said theres a mommy kind of period too!" and her big sister just walked away.... O.o

September 14, 2012 at 8:56 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

lol @Born2Bme
Jacob, If you want to know, go to kidshealth. I really hope I'm not telling like a 7 year old to do that..... oh boy. (Literally)

September 15, 2012 at 11:59 AM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

Lol imagine if he was that young. That would be funny.

September 15, 2012 at 4:27 PM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

I think its totally cool if u dont wear a bra. I didnt start wearin one til i waz 12 and now im 13. Is ok. Dont let ur friends influence u on what u dont think suits u. If u think u r ready for one, then u can get one. Just think about what u want, no others.
**ygg**

September 15, 2012 at 4:31 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

Yeah, exactly. I wore one when I was like, nine, but then again, I developed earlier than some people. And, lol that would be funny @cutiepie4eversophie. But it might scarr him if he was that young, lol.

September 16, 2012 at 2:03 PM  
Anonymous Cheeseburger, side o' fries said...

@Katelyna I know I was scared when I first found out! Hays. Omg were having a health class in school this year and only a few boys know what a period is. Its going to be funny watching their reactions.

September 16, 2012 at 7:10 PM  
Anonymous YOLO said...

That awkward moment when a guy is on this site

September 17, 2012 at 5:19 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

lol, I bet it will be. I have health next semester too..... 7th grade health. Oh boy. Can you say EMBARRASSING! lol.

September 17, 2012 at 6:41 PM  
Anonymous Cheeseburger, side o' fries said...

@Katelynla I had a health class a few years ago and had to sit between two boys. Embarrassing. Just embarrassing.

September 17, 2012 at 7:22 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

LOL I know. I wonder if he's reading this right now............... creepy! I wonder how old he is. But seriously, how DID he find this site? I mean REALLY!

September 17, 2012 at 9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think that it is totally up to you.
don't let ur friends decide on what is best for ur body!!!
hope this helped.

September 18, 2012 at 4:59 AM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

@Cheeseburger, side o' fries That is SO embarrassing. DId they make any comments or anything? But I bet it was sorta embarrassing for them.... when you got to the male part.

September 18, 2012 at 3:32 PM  
Anonymous ElephantLuv said...

hey girls. how do u tell ur mom u want a bra with more support?

September 19, 2012 at 5:28 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

@ElephantLuv
Just say it simple and clear. "Mom, can we go get some more bras for me? My old ones are getting kinda small."

September 19, 2012 at 7:02 PM  
Anonymous Laniejanie said...

In fifth grade the boys and girls separated and watched movies about puberty. We only saw the girls but the boys said they saw the boys and girls. Is it just me or is that wierd. I'm in seventh grade now but I still think that that's kind of creepy. Does anyone else's school do that???

September 21, 2012 at 3:41 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

Laniejanie, I have NO idea! That's really creepy. ARe you sure they weren't joking around? In fifth grade the girls watched the girls and boys watched the boy movie thingy. (I'm in seventh grade too!) Did they act weird like wow.....

September 21, 2012 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous ElephantLuv said...

Thx katelynla!

September 21, 2012 at 10:10 PM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

in my school heres how the big deal puberty movie goes:


FIFTH GRADE: movie, not getting TOO detailed, boys and girls go into different rooms.


SIXTH GRADE: movie, more detailed, boys and girls split up


SEVENTH GRADE: they give u a bag of pads and tampons

EIGHTH GRADE: girls wath boy movie, boys watch girl movie





and its awkward...in my school ALL the gym teachers are boys... and they do health class too...

September 21, 2012 at 10:27 PM  
Anonymous On the rag said...

At least you all get to watch a movie and not be surprised when your period comes. Its weird to think that boys have their own "periods" even if they don't come once a month or whatever. And no cramps. Lucky.

September 22, 2012 at 11:23 AM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

@ElephantLuv
Sure!

September 23, 2012 at 4:14 PM  
Anonymous Bella said...

What do you do if your mom says NO when you ask for a bra?! she says I should wear undershirts, not sports bra or training bra or real bra, but..........
1. We wear white shirts at school. You can tell who is wearing a bra (ALL my friends), and who is NOT (me)
2. It looks pointy even WITH an undershirt
3. My friends say I need a bra!
4. Sometimes they REALLY hurt!
5. I am 11, grade 6
6. I don't have any older sisters or aunts or grandmas nearby. I do have a dad and a brother though.

October 3, 2012 at 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol I have full breasts and I never wear a bra! The justice tanks are awesome to wear instead!

October 5, 2012 at 1:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's your choice if you want to wear a bra or not,first of all. If your chest area starts to stick out or hang down you might want to think about wearing a sports bra for starters.
-IknowWhatYourDealingWith,haley

October 6, 2012 at 5:39 PM  
Anonymous ElephantLuv said...

I just got asked out today!!!!!!!!

October 8, 2012 at 4:13 PM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

congrats, elephantluv!!!!!

October 22, 2012 at 9:10 PM  
Anonymous iflovecouldtalk said...

At my school we have health each week every year except kindergarten I think

October 24, 2012 at 6:51 PM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

Lucky! I would have loved to know more about what a period was before I got it!

October 29, 2012 at 9:30 AM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

This may not seem like the best option, but if you are really desperate, ask your dad. He knows that women wear bras so if you really think you need one and your mom won't help, ask him. This past summer, my mother was in Haiti and I was running low on pads. She left like 60 in a closet in my house, but for some reason, they weren't there! I didn't know what to do. So I went to my and asked if he saw a white plastic bag in the closet. He said no and was like why do you need it, what's in it. I said pads. He was like do you need them now? I said no but I am supposed to tomorrow. So he came up to my room to where I keep my pads and realized that I did not have enough. He helped me look and we could not find them. The whole thing was SUPER AWKWARD! but in the end he was like when you need pads, just tell me so we can buy more, you don't have to only go to your mother.
So now, I am SUPER COMFORTABLE going to him to talk about pads and stuff. Maybe not bras yet (that is just me, my mom,and my sister) but I am sure that maybe it will work for you too!

October 30, 2012 at 3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

look just wear one guyss ull be mean and look its awkward not to wear camis under ur clothes or a bra

November 19, 2012 at 7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How to get cleavage?

November 24, 2012 at 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honestly I would say don't worry about cleavage. It may make you look older, but it attracts the wrong kind of attention.

November 25, 2012 at 12:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me too!:/

December 5, 2012 at 6:28 AM  
Anonymous MissLovesPLSaLot said...

You know every individual has their own way of growing so you might be like Jemma a bit late bloomer.But if you want you can wear a padded bra to make your breast look bigger. Think Pink

February 16, 2013 at 1:48 AM  

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