When a friend asks too much (for Eloise)

We girls love our friends and hurray for us for being awesome to our BFFs! But, but, but...sometimes a friend may ask too much of you. How can you stay best friends while still being honest and not doing something that you don't want to do? Eloise has one of those situations...

Dear PLS,

My question was that my friend wants me to wait for her by her locker and walk together after lunch to get her books, but our next class is on the second floor on the other side of the school and I don't want to be late. I also don't want to tell her that I don't want to wait for her... What should I do?
-Eloise

I have so been in this situation. Sometimes girls especially don't want to say no or disappoint anyone. However, this is one of those times that you should gently, politely say you can't. Just tell her, "I'm so sorry, but my next class is so far away I'm afraid I'll be late. Can I meet you at lunch/at the bus/after school or whatever works for you?"

A good friend will understand. And it's much better to tell her up front and make other arrangements. Because sometimes we suck it up and do something that's a bad idea - like making ourselves late - and then we get angry at the person even though she isn't asking you to be late.

Any other advice out there? What would you do if you were Eloise?

Think pink!
Jemma

28 Comments:

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Anonymous Purpleypopsicle said...

I have to admit, I've asked for things like this before. I think you should just explain why, and maybe suggest you meet bbefore lunch or something.

September 10, 2012 at 9:40 PM  
Anonymous BerrySorbet said...

I agree Purpleyposicle! :)

September 11, 2012 at 1:42 AM  
Anonymous Dance It Up! said...

Purple Popsicle said it all.

September 11, 2012 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Violinist at Soul said...

Never try to do something you just don't have time for. My mom and I do it all the time because we just can't say. It never turns out well... Just tell her " I don't really think I can because of where my next class is, but we can meet at ____ at a different time."
Violinist at Soul

September 11, 2012 at 11:06 AM  
Anonymous Wallflower said...

Okay did any of you know that a boy was on this site asking what a period was? I got so embarrassed because he sees all of our secrets! Well I guess he should no anyways. (Go to Elizabeth and the bra wars)

September 11, 2012 at 3:51 PM  
Anonymous orangeIcecream said...

I have this problem too!!!!!!!! Except this girl isn't really my BFF. Just tell her, "I gotta get to class early today. I'm sorry, I can't."

Hey, is there a trend here?

-orangeIcecream

September 11, 2012 at 4:27 PM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

Just tell her that you have to go. She'll totally understand

September 11, 2012 at 8:19 PM  
Anonymous Born2Bme said...

i get it. just say "im really sorry, but my class is really far away from yours, and i cant afford to be late! im really sorry! but i can mayube meet you after school or something? is that ok?"

September 11, 2012 at 9:06 PM  
Anonymous Eloise said...

Thank for the help!!!

September 11, 2012 at 9:07 PM  
Anonymous Chocoholic said...

I think you should tell her you don't want to be late for classes.

September 11, 2012 at 10:09 PM  
Anonymous littlebee said...

Sometimes one of my friends asks me to go everywhere with her. This is because she is very shy so she likes to have someone with her. Do you think I should go along all the time or should she sometimes go alone? I don't want to be mean.

September 14, 2012 at 5:40 AM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

one time a friend asked me 2 get a guys phone # 4 ger and i happened 2 think that this guy was reeeeeally annoying and if i just asked him 4 it that would b weird, so she gave another guys # and told me 2 ask him but i didnt want 2 cuz i thought it would b really just weird
so i told her no and then she went and asked him 4 it saying she was my sister!
it didnt work but it made me kinda mad

September 14, 2012 at 10:56 AM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

It depends. If you have the time to be with her, then stay. If you don't then you should tell her you don't and she should understand. Maybe this way, she can make other friends.

September 14, 2012 at 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just tell that you can't wait for her because really want get class on time. or say that next teacher is crazy and will go wild if your tardy, or whatever. she probably won't mind.

September 14, 2012 at 4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you just say it kindly and polietly she will understand.if she yells at you or gets angry ect. she cant be a brillant friend for not understanding

September 14, 2012 at 5:18 PM  
Anonymous lemony lama said...

any good friend will understand your situation

September 14, 2012 at 5:19 PM  
Anonymous Fight4WhatULove said...

say, sorry, my class is far away, could we meet her instead? She will understand.

September 15, 2012 at 11:40 AM  
Anonymous popcornmunch said...

I had a clingy friend like that. What I did was found a time where we were alone together, and I told her my problem calmly. She should understand, but if not, tell her to calm down and that you'll discuss it at lunch with her. Hopefully there will be a way you can sort this out! Think pink!

September 15, 2012 at 12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a friend like that. Oh my gosh, she thinks and talks like she and I are best friends, but I don't feel that way. She is stubborn sometimes, and sometimes she is too hiper. What can I say to explain I have other friends?

September 15, 2012 at 3:34 PM  
Anonymous Vanessa said...

Like Jemma said: A good friend will understand that you have to make it to class and don't want to be late- just like her!
Hope this helped!

September 16, 2012 at 10:05 AM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

Hey girls! I just wanted to say that I LOVE giving advice, and that I would be HAPPY to it. My screen name is katelynla, so you could do like: @katelynla or something like that.

September 16, 2012 at 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Nini said...

Omg when am i going to get my questions answered? Not trying to be rude or anything.

September 16, 2012 at 2:17 PM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

Me too!!!! As you may see I give a lot of advice and I would be glad to help so you can say @Pinkadink!!!!!!!

September 16, 2012 at 6:34 PM  
Anonymous Pinkadink said...

What's ur question, maybe I can help.

September 16, 2012 at 6:35 PM  
Anonymous Wallflower said...

@nini why don't you just ask it here? We'll try to help answer it. And it will be a lot quicker.

September 16, 2012 at 7:12 PM  
Anonymous katelynla said...

Yeah, I would be happy to help too.

September 17, 2012 at 6:43 PM  
Anonymous iflovecouldtalk said...

I have a question. How can I ask my mom if I can start shaving. Ive talked to her about things before but this is one of the most major ones and I need desparate help. I usually send her a note but I don't want to do that now. Please help.

October 25, 2012 at 10:36 PM  
Anonymous iflovecouldtalk said...

Never mind bout my question above

November 4, 2012 at 9:09 PM  

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