Is it OK to keep secrets?

Trying Hard writes us with a tough problem. She is dealing with family stuff at home and it is really bothering her. We often say that you should find a trusted adult to talk with, but she says she can't tell anyone outside of her family. Here's her question...

Dear PLS,
I don't know where to start.

I've had a lot going on at home and I began getting affected. My parents tell me to stay strong and that it's OK...but the thing i cant tell anyone. It's a family secret, and it is literally like carrying weights everywhere.

I know it isn't but i can't help feeling its my fault...

I'm so confused and keep geting into weird phases where I get moody for no reason. I seriously think i'm going mental! Another thing...my crush...he used to like me. we used to be friends...but now...i'm not too sure.

any advice? please> i'm seriously depressed.


Trying Hard, 13   I think that Trying Hard should talk more to her parents, especially because she says she feels depressed, which is a serious sadness. There's more good information on that here:   Why Am I So Sad?   She should tell her parents that keeping this secret feels like carrying heavy weights. She should ask for help and find stuff to do that makes her feel better. I wonder if Trying Hard has ever tried writing down her feelings. It can help a little to write it all down, even if you end up throwing the paper away. Or she could write a letter to her parents, if she thinks it would be easier to express her feelings that way. And if her parents can't or won't help lighten her load, then she should find another trusted adult - a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or a guidance counselor.    The most important thing is that she should find a grownup to help.

What else, Pink Locker girls? Have you ever had a problem that felt like a heavy weight you were carrying around?

Think pink!
Jemma

29 Comments:

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Anonymous Pinkadink said...

I am so sorry. Tell your parents your feelings and how you can't keep them in anymore. Maybe they can help.

December 23, 2012 at 2:00 PM  
Anonymous love? said...

i know exactly how you feel...but all you can do is tell things to your parents that you think they can handle and help....wow...it's really windy outside! sorry...anyway....your parents are your friends and they will help you:D

December 23, 2012 at 5:22 PM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

Try to express ur feelings to ur parents and c if they will change certain things because they wont want their life to be a bad influence on u

December 23, 2012 at 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Forget Me said...

I agree with Pinkadink. Tell your family your thoughts. Also, if it is making you feel this way I would suggest getting guidance from a school counselor or a teacher. Depending on the family secret, I think you should definitely seek help.

December 24, 2012 at 11:33 AM  
Anonymous watermelonpuppy said...

Trying Hard- As Jemma said, you really need to tell someone. If you need help telling your parents, what helps me is to write about it. Usually I'll write telling exactly what happened and how I felt and then I'll write a story with one of the characters going through the same or similar problems. I hppe you feel better!
Watermelonpuppy :)

December 24, 2012 at 2:53 PM  
Anonymous Hugsandsmiles said...

Watermelonpuppy I agree writing stuff down (or if you're artsy drawing) is very helpful for this sort of thing Smiles!

December 25, 2012 at 3:45 PM  
Anonymous cutiepie4eversophie said...

Merry christmas everyone!!! Have the best christmas ever!!

December 25, 2012 at 4:17 PM  
Anonymous Cutiecake123 said...

@ Trying Hard

Please don't ignore how you feel. I know it can be overwhelming- I feel this way a lot, so I know how hard it can be to keep it in, and personally I hate talking about my feelings, but It's not a good idea to hide it. It works for a bit, but you just get so full of sadness that you just can't help it anymore, and you can find yourself doing things you would have never imagined. If you're like me, and you hate talking about how you feel, and i mean HATE, you can always use a diary or just write it down, even if it feels weird or seems lame, honestly its why I sleep at night because if I don't write it down it's incredibly hard to sleep. Anyways sorry this is so long. I'm 12 by the way.

December 28, 2012 at 11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that u should just write it down or talking to pets(if u hv any)helps too.You can try talking to someone in your family apart from your parents like an aunt or older cousin you are comfortable sharing with.

January 1, 2013 at 7:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be soo sad,what I do if I'm soo sad I'd sing my own songs sometimes about my feelings,i also right down about what I feel,but the most Important: talking to your parents they might know what to do and remember they will help you because they love you!

January 2, 2013 at 1:57 PM  
Anonymous Natie said...

I sometimes have the same problem trying hard. I feel like i need to tell someone some secrets to feel better but who should i tell.
Enjoy the ride that life brings, never look back, no regrets.
Natie

January 3, 2013 at 7:37 PM  
Anonymous TryingHard said...

thanks so much for your support guys...i appreciate it :)
yes, I do find that it helps to write things down but i am sometimes too confused to make sense lol.

drawing and stories...i have tried them :D they work. but its the telling no one about it part that hurts. sometimes you just want to talk and not just to grass and the neighbours cat (yes, crazy i know).
i hope none of you guys ever have to feel like this...

xx TH
ps. @love? that was funny! it was coincidentally windy where i am too! (^_^)

January 5, 2013 at 4:12 PM  
Anonymous TryingHard said...

oops...that was so long...sorry guys ;)

January 5, 2013 at 4:12 PM  
Anonymous Hugsandsmiles said...

I have to keep secrets too and it hurts... I feel for you, TryingHard. Try and smile anyway.

January 6, 2013 at 7:00 AM  
Anonymous Commenter said...

@TryingHard i have the similar problem,because my family follows the philosophy of what happens in the house, stays in the house. plus- im working on a 4.0 average and I'm obsessed with my record- so im VERY reluctant to go to counseling in fear of the colleges may think im emotionally unstable. i guess that's how i release my anger and sadness- i made A's lol. anyway, ask your crush/ friend whats wrong or something and see what he says, then see what happens. i would be devastated if my crush did that to me so i hope all turns well :) sorry yall, that was long

January 6, 2013 at 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's okay just stay strong

January 7, 2013 at 5:57 PM  
Anonymous Kelsi:) said...

I keep secrets too but not the same as you but i know how it is i've been there and i got through it so you can too sometimes I just feel like I'm gonna explode so I write it down exceot i do it in song form but any way works! Or explode to your pillow when you are alone and I have the same situation with my crush but stay strong!!!!

January 9, 2013 at 7:34 PM  
Anonymous PensandPennies said...

Try writing it down in a journal and writing your thoughts and feelings it calms me to do that maybe it will work with you?????

January 17, 2013 at 7:12 PM  
Anonymous PensandPennies said...

@ Trying Hard

Maybe you should talk to a creature more loyal like a dog. I talk to my dogs and tell them my secrets in way that I can't quite seem to do with a cat.

January 17, 2013 at 7:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try and write everything in a diary, and if you feel like it, just let everything out and cry. You'll probably feel better for a little. I really can't relate to you on the first part, but I'm going through the exact same thing as the second part, and I know it's really hard, but everything will become better :).

January 20, 2013 at 10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am do sorry I have a friend Emily with a situation like that so I can relate. Keep going try twlling a trusted adult out I your family and write in a journal that will help I hope
Love Morgan

January 30, 2013 at 8:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know exacty how you feel. i havnt told my parents anything yet and its tearing me apart. if you need help deffinetly talk to your parents, or at least someone who you fully trust.

February 11, 2013 at 5:20 PM  
Anonymous anonomous said...

i know how you feel, one of best things to do is write in a SUPER SUPER SECRET jurnal or diary

February 24, 2013 at 6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make a journal of your personal thoughts and write them down. That's what I do when I have strong feelings. Trust me, it helps.

March 15, 2013 at 6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some secrets you can keep and others you should tell someone 1 you can keep who you like 2 that you need a bra

March 23, 2013 at 8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like a few people have said, write-in-your-notebooks. Like make a journal or diary for yourself and make it yourself to keep yourself busy-maybe. or you could just get a notebook. :) LOL. I know how it feels at times like this. My dad's in the hospital and I am really sad. He should be coming home today, though. If he can get a ride. Just to let you know, he was in a different state. :( So, everyone, how's it goin'? ;) I <3 Writing!!!!

March 29, 2013 at 6:05 PM  
Anonymous coolgabs1216 said...

Trying hard
I agree that journaling helps. Sometimes I feel like I will explode so I write in my journal. It takes an edge off feelings. try it !
Think pink!!

June 1, 2013 at 3:33 PM  
Anonymous silly flower said...

Wow... :(

June 26, 2013 at 12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

use a journal start a diary write ur feelings

July 8, 2013 at 8:22 PM  

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